Admitting Time - Easy Yet Messy

On March 31, 2013, Mom was admitted to the Geri-Psych Ward in Tukwila, Washington.  This wasn't an easy move, but it wasn't all that unexpected, either.

AS I stated earlier, I spent the week with her, taking her to her favorite spots.  Every evening was bittersweet, knowing how much joy she found in those days, yet also knowing what was overshadowing the purpose.

    Mom as a young girl

Years ago, Mom had created a trust, and also had made out her Powers-of-Attorney.  I was made the Power-of-Attorney for her Medical and Durable.  Her friend, Nadya, had the Power for Medical, as well, as she was in close proximity to Mom - so if something dire happened, Nadya knew all Mom's wishes, and what to do as I may be  unavailable.  My brother, Tom, was made Co-Power on the Durable, as a means of checks and balances.

So, when the morning came (after Tom, Peg & I had met with the doctor) Tom called me to let me know the hospital was open and waiting for Mom.  Now, how do we get Mom into the car, and packed?  She's very stubborn, and may not be willing to go.  So, we concocted that she needed to go in for a sleep study in Seattle, as that may answer some of the questions and problems she'd been having.

Mom and Her Mother in the Late '70's, early '80's

Did that work?  Not really.  She phoned Nadya almost immediately, and told her, "They can't just pick me up and replant me like a potted plant!"  This stung - mostly because it gave notice that she had an awareness of what was going on.  However, she did grab an overnight bag, packed her nightie, and one or two other things, and off we went in the car.  According to Nadya, though, Mom was looking forward to the trip to discover what was wrong with her.  Isn't it odd how we recall events!

Mom and Tony at  Beach House ca 2008

The drive was sometimes pleasant, but the harrowing truth was permeating the air.  We talked about the week, and going to see Tom's new home.  Then she'd launch into how wrong this all was; followed by a pleasant chat.

We arrived at Tom's house.  I knew he and Peg were dreading the upcoming journey to Tukwila.

Luckily, their ride was similar to mine, except they took the ferry to Seattle, giving Mom a chance to be in the open air and view the sites.  When they arrived at the hospital, the nurse asked Mom how she felt.  Mom told her she was ready for a nap.  The nurse responded that they had a bed all ready for her, and if she followed, she could lie down.  Mom just trotted in.  Tom said it couldn't have been any easier.

Fortunately, we had our our documents, and I also scanned mine, so it would be easier to either send or print a copy for whomever.    This proved beneficial.

I did receive a call from Social Services inquiring about Mom, stating that they were ready to take her into care, in Port Angeles.  This was very strange, as Mom was already admitted, and there was no need for DHS to be involved.  I told her the events, the facts, and she told she would close the case.

While Mom was in Geri-Psych, she really enjoyed many of the other people there.  While I wasn't able to visit, dealing with her matters down here, and catching up on work from all the days I' missed, she told me, on the phone, about all the lovely ladies she had met.  She had one speak with me (they had a cordless for the patients to use when appropriate).  They gadded about and watched television.  Tom told me that they shared rooms, but when Mom went into the room, she slid the curtain aside and she and her "roomie" just talked and talked and talked.   He said that's all these ladies did all day was talk!  Mom was in 7th Heaven!

I did manage to get her outside, as she said she just wanted to go for a walk!  I talked to the doctor and nurse and they were able to manage an escort for her to go outside.

She also had visitors - my brother, Tom, was a frequent one, and my nephew, Damian, came with crosswords, and other assorted items for Mom's pleasure, a few times, as well as Lawrence, who drove up from Portland for the visit.

The doctors put her on Seroquel, a small dose, just to eliminate some of the symptoms and the anxiety she was experiencing.  This produced good results - but they weren't going to allow her to have any wine (which Mom says relaxes her).  So, when one of my brothers came to visit, and he brought a bottle of wine (despite my warnings) he was told "Nononononononononononononononono!"  That was fine.

Mom, Connie & Nadya at the Beach House

When Mom came down to Portland, to be in St. Anthony's, Tom & Peg brought her, while I finished readying her room (Larry and I had moved down her bedroom furniture for her, and I was putting in the finishing touches of the doodads purchased for her room, as well as ensuring it was all done well).  When they arrived, we went out into the garden.

The staff introduced themselves, and Mom stated, "It's nice to meet you, but I'm only a visitor here."  Uh-oh.  Imagine her surprise and shock when we took her to her room (which was right behind the window where we were sitting in the garden) and she saw her furniture.  It was not a happy reaction.  It was anger.

Of course, I had spent the previous weeks driving between Portland and Port Angeles on Saturdays putting together her clothes,  and other assorted things, and arranging for her yard to be dealt with, etc.  So, her reaction, while natural wasn't what I wanted to hear - but it was, honestly, the truth.

After a week or two, Mom would tell me about the nice hospital she'd come from in London (it was really Seattle, but that's too trivial) where she'd spent 3-5 years before coming down.   It wasn't for a few more weeks that she realized her mistake in location.  But it was a romantic type of thought...after all, who in the states wouldn't mind being placed in London with the insurance paying for it?!

Mom with her 4 sons, 2008

Since that time, she has been trying to arrange for the transport of her belongings back home.  But in the year this has decreased a bit. She has begun falling into the routine of the center, being allowed outside the Memory Care to participate in other activities (as she doesn't try to escape), but with an escort.

There are enough bumps and twists in such a situation not to have to be burdened with the legal dealings that are sometimes left until it's too late.

Be sure to have your Powers-of-Attorney, your wishes, and your trust/will, or what have you, sent to those who you trust to do the right thing for you.  You can always change them if necessary, and if you haven't waited too long.    Hopefully, Mom was fortunate in this area - I'm trying....as are my brothers....

Why Be So Attentive?

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, asked me why I spend so much time with my mother, when she's doing pretty well in her new residence.

Actually, it's a good question but phrased the wrong way.

The Question is Why Aren't More Families Willing to Spend More Time with Their Loved Ones in Memory Care?

Mom and Nadya O. at Cannon Beach

I've heard all sorts of excuses from many:
   - My mother isn't the same person she used to be.  We lost the one we loved a long time ago...
   - My father was somewhat abusive, and I owe him nothing.
   - We pay people to look after them.  I have a busy schedule, but I know they're doing fine.
   - I'm too busy - I'll visit when I have a chance, and I'll bring some candy.
                  There are so many to list, but they all involve one thing - AVOIDANCE

To be honest, there are times I take some respite on the weekends from taking Mom out.  She seems to be fine - not realizing the time element, but noticing it all the same.  This means she realizes it's been a while, but for her time is not an element of understanding (after all, she believes she has been at St. A's for at least 3 years, and she was in Seattle for 3-5 years).

She does know what day it is, sometimes, but not always able to put together the pieces that fit with that information.

She does know who people are - the ones who are constant in her life - my brothers, me,  cousins, her grandchildren, and her good friends.

She writes prolifically.  It's unusual that I have fewer than 15 letters to post per week when I visit - some with a strange address (which I try to amend before sending), some to those who are no longer with us (Dad, grandparents, etc), and some which are multiple copies (I would assume) to the same person, but given varied addresses in hopes of reaching them.

This is the only mode she has, on her own, to communicate with the outside world, unless someone else is with her.  I am a willing constant.

Mom loves her ice cream!!!!

What does that do for her?   She has a shoulder to cry on.  Someone to trust.  Someone who is looking out for her and will take her shopping.  Someone who helps keep her brain stimulated, aside from the crosswords, writing, and jibberjabber of the other residents.

Despite her (or anyone else's) diagnosis, she's still my mother.  Whether I have a sense of loyalty and integrity is up to me.  Whether I determine that the people who raised, fed, clothed, sheltered and supported me (as best they could) are worth my while is up to me.  

I see some of the residents have company here and there.  There is one man who lives in residential care so he can come over and be with his wife for the majority of the day (she has quite advanced Alzheimers), and some family members who visit their mothers/fathers every so often.

I realize we're all busy, but the loneliness that many of these people endure is too much.

I hear others speak of how we need to be thoughtful of others, and we need to respect the rights of others, but they aren't the ones coming in and giving these people joy, or succor.

With dementia patients, it's about touch, talk, stimulation, and knowing there's someone there to love them, who is there; who they can count on.

This makes me feel a bit better, but it is exhausting - but worth it.

What is Lewy Body Syndrome???

When Mom's buddy, Nadya, sent me the literature on LBD, I read it, but it didn't make sense.  It was too vague.  I can't say it isn't still a little vague, but it's becoming clearer as to what it is, how it manifests (at least in Mom), and what more to expect.

Lewy Body Dementia (LBD)

Lewy body dementia (LBD) is one of the most common types of progressive dementia. Lewy body dementia usually occurs sporadically, in people with no known family history of the disease. However, rare familial cases have occasionally been reported. In Lewy body dementia, cells die in the brain's cortex (outer layer), and in a part of the mid-brain called the substantia nigra. Many of the remaining nerve cells in the substantia nigra contain abnormal structures called Lewy bodies that are the hallmark of the disease.

The symptoms of Lewy body dementia overlap with Alzheimer's disease in many ways, and may include memory impairment, poor judgment, and confusion. However, Lewy body dementia typically also includes visual hallucinations, parkinsonian symptoms such as a shuffling gait (walk) and flexed posture, and day-to-day fluctuations in the severity of symptoms. Patients with Lewy body dementia live an average of 7 years after symptoms begin. There is no cure for Lewy body dementia, and treatments are aimed at controlling the parkinsonian and psychiatric symptoms of the disorder.

Thanks to sites such as:
Lewy Body Dementia
Everyday Health and Lewy Body Dementia 
Alzheimer's Association
Medicine.Net
Dementia With Lewy Bodies

Among others, I have been able to process and determine more of what to expect.

Here is a portion of an article on using MRI scanning to determine something about dementia -

CT scans and MRIs are helpful tools physicians use to examine structural brain changes. These scans are useful in detecting strokes, tumors, head injury and other structural changes including hydrocephalus, which can cause of dementia. MRIs provide superior images compared with CT scans in detecting structural problems in the brain.

Some of the causes of dementia that can be detected well by an MRI include brain tumors, vascular dementia/multi-infarct dementia (dementia caused by multiple strokes), normal pressure hydrocephalus, or Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease — a type of infectious disease in humans related to bovine spongiform encephalitis or “mad cow disease”).

It can be very difficult to differentiate between types of dementia in the doctor’s office since many disorders can initially present with similar symptoms. Most degenerative causes of dementia such as Alzheimer’s disease and LBD are characterized by atrophy or shrinkage of the brain due to cell death. However, the patterns are similar so that the MRI cannot distinguish between Alzheimer’s and LBD but can provide supporting evidence that the patient’s symptoms are not due to another structural lesion. This is important because some causes of dementia such as hydrocephalus and brain tumors are potentially reversible if caught and treated early.

In the early stages of LBD the atrophy can be very subtle. In the more advanced stages of dementia, the atrophy can be quite severe. Researchers are actively studying whether the pattern and progression of brain atrophy in LBD can lead to better understanding of disease mechanisms and improved diagnosis.

- See more at: http://www.lbda.org/feature/5203/brain-imaging-for-lewy-body-dementia.htm#sthash.bzO9BB3m.dpuf    (lbda.org, 2014).  

What isn't said here is that there cannot be any true determination, really, until an autopsy is performed after death, to inspect the brain and verify the diagnosis.  

Here is an illustration of the brain.  

These are forms of dementia, to help better illustrate what types there are for all of us who are not quite sure.  
Thanks to http://www.medicinenet.com/dementia_pictures_slideshow/article.htm for all this help!  

What Causes Dementia?

All forms of dementia result from the death of nerve cells and/or the loss of communication among these cells. The human brain is a very complex and intricate machine and many factors can interfere with its functioning. Researchers have uncovered many of these factors, but they have not yet been able to fit these puzzle pieces together in order to form a complete picture of how dementias develop.

Many types of dementia, including Alzheimer's disease, Lewy body dementia, Parkinson's dementia, and Pick's disease, are characterized by abnormal structures called inclusions in the brain. Because these inclusions, which contain abnormal proteins, are so common in people with dementia, researchers suspect that they play a role in the development of symptoms. However, that role is unknown, and in some cases the inclusions may simply be a side effect of the disease process that leads to the dementia.

Genes clearly play a role in the development of some kinds of dementia. However, in Alzheimer's disease and many other disorders, the dementia usually cannot be tied to a single abnormal gene. Instead, these forms of dementia appear to result from a complex interaction of genes, lifestyle factors, and other environmental influences.

Here is a comparison between a healthy brain and one with Alzheimer's, or dementia.  

This gets a little more inside - showing what happens to the brain when afflicted.  

Here's what the little bastards look like, that afflict the brain and the neurons in Mom's head.

AT this time, here's an example of who might be at risk....If this is of help, to you, then I'm glad.

The ironic component to Mom having this is her Mother had Alzheimer's.  Our grandmother was diagnosed in September 1983 and died in April 1984.  I know this through Mom's journals, and her introspection on the diagnosis.  Mom was upset that this could have been possible.  

One of Mom's cronies told me that for their generation this was quite embarrassing, and indeed, for Mom, it is.  She will not admit there is anything wrong, although she knows it is.  My brother, Tom, and I both gently remind her from time to time (as he lives and works in Seattle, and isn't able to visit too often, but does try to make it once a month; they provide her with movies, a television - which she refuses to allow to be set up, clothes, and outings).  She understands, but then retreats back into denial within a short time.  

Mom is able to do her crosswords, pretty well.  And her good friends, Connie and Jean, come to play Scrabble with her almost weekly - of course, Mom creates rules that they try to abide by, but there are times...Thank God they have a sense of humor and quite a lot of patience.  Mom  is quite competitive, and loves winning.  I do believe, though, that she has won the vast majority of games.  

This keeps Mom's brain active and alert.  However, she has troubles distinguishing between dreams and reality.  In a letter to my father, which she wrote recently (yes, she writes letters to him, her parents, and she wrote one to her grandparents, as well - luckily I take all her mail and post it so I can catch all this) she told him I had related a family gathering in which he was there but she wasn't invited.  She was not happy and was quite depressed by this.  Well, such a thing never occurred.  

Connie and Jean tell me Mom seems fine and functional about 92% of the time.  But for me, she operates about 50% of the time in reality, and the rest is in somewhere else.  She tells stories about the family, while engaging, which are not based on fact or even remotely true.  These stories continue to grow, little by little, into miniature sagas.  

Just the other day, she began tremoring in her left arm.  It wasn't about angst or worry - it just happened.  This is significant.  I'm hoping syncope and falling are not coming soon, along with rigidity (although she has stated she has fallen for no reason, but doesn't want anyone to know).  

Well, that's all for now. I hope this was helpful and a little enlightening.  

I placed my sources at the head, in case you were wondering where to go for more information.  

TTFN

Mom is Diagnosed Part II

Leading up to Mom's diagnosis, I already mentioned my consult with her first doctor, and yadda yadda yadda.  What I didn't speak of were the symptoms that began to come about.

I suppose the first indication that happened was about 11 years ago.  Mom and I had been to England for a tour, and although she suffered cracked ribs on our 4th day out, nothing else seemed out of the ordinary.  After our return, though, about 2 months later she had been at the beach house for a couple of weeks or so.  She came to Portland to visit friends and have a short stop-over before heading north to PA.

Mom and me at Buchart Gardens 2007 - Victoria BC 

It was Labor Day.  We'd gone to my brother's house for dinner and came home.  It was still light and I had put her foodstuffs from the cooler in the refrigerator when she had arrived.  She was planning on leaving the next day, so I told her I would put the cooler on the counter, and while I took the dogs for a walk she could load them all back in, and then I would put the cooler in her trunk, so when she left the next day all would be taken care of.  She agreed.

I took the dogs out for probably 20 minutes or so.  We came up the road from the side so I could have a gander at some of the work I'd done on the house earlier, when I saw something frightening - flames were flickering in the kitchen window!

 I grabbed the dogs and ran to the house.  The front door was open and smoke was billowing out.  I ran indoors and there she was with a small bowl of water from the bathroom.  "I'm so sorry!" she cried.  I yelled, "What the Hell did you do?"  She kept apologizing.  The cooler had caught fire and was melting and buring in the sink, on the stove, on the floor, the counter and the cabinets (as it trickled down).  I quickly grabbed the baking soda box (luckily it was nearly new and mostly unused) and threw it about.  That put the fire out, but the damage was done.

She had put the cooler on the stove, thinking there was more room there for her to work in, then left it to do a crossword (Mom's favorite pastime).  She had, inadvertently, hit one of the knobs on the stove, under the cooler, and it heated up (it's a smooth top) as she went to the living room.  She smelled smoke and then ran in to see what happened.

Later she was to blame me for putting on the tea kettle before my walk (now, I do like to pre-plan at times, but nothing that extreme - ever!).  She did feel quite guilty.

Later, I thought it was karma, but perhaps it was more.  She put dish soap into the dishwasher, thinking it would work just as well.  Let's just say she was quite embarrassed, and had to come clean to the insurance company.

There were other incidents similar in substance that followed.

I used to phone her Saturday mornings by 8 am, or so, to find her up and about and quite chatty.  As time progressed, this diminished, and she wanted me to phone later, and then later, and then it was catch as catch can (she was quite busy).  One morning, though, we were chatting and she told me she'd done something that really embarrassed her (so, I feel somewhat guilty in telling it, but it says something about her condition).

She had gone down for a nap in the afternoon.  She slept quite soundly, apparently. When she awoke, it was 730, and she thought the sun was rising (rather than setting).  So she washed her face quickly, ate some breakfast, and jumped in the car.  She needed to drive the 20 or so miles to Sequim to pick up some friends for a hike on Sunday morning.

As she drove, she thought there were storm clouds coming in.  She finally made it to her friends' house and knocked.  They answered and were quite puzzled.  "Why are you here?  We weren't expecting you until tomorrow morning - in about 12 hours!?"  Things came rushing suddenly to Mom's head.

When she told me I couldn't stop laughing.  She was laughing, as well.

Later, a couple of months, the symptoms began coming in in other ways - calling constantly asking for my father's cell phone number (remember, Dad died in 1995).  Then she'd call for his address, or for my grandmother's number.  She'd be upset when we told her the truth.  I asked about her medications, and I began to blame them.

She would come down and be confused taking the train home.  She would become lost driving to the bank, or other people's homes (I received many calls).  She became quite disorganized, and couldn't find things.  She became quite needy and fragile.  Her friends called me to tell me her house was a mess, and they weren't sure what was happening.  I tried to visit and to field the calls, but I had some obligations here, as well, so I wasn't able to drop everything and run up whenever they called.

Her good friend, Nadya, finally got her to a psychiatrist.  I had thought Phyllis had taken her, but Nadya corrected me here. There they took her off the Lorazopan, and some of the anti-depressants she'd been on.  From there, she began to improve.  The phoning began to calm down.   She seemed much more relaxed and able to think.

She came down for Easter and all seemed to be going well.  Then she left and needed me to guide her to the freeway.  She then became quite lost a few miles from her home.  She was confused again.

She had a new doctor, now.  This one was in contact with me rather often, as were her friends.  One called me at work and told me I needed to go up that day and put her in a home!  Well, not being a member of the Retired Ladies Network, I wasn't able to do that.  I referred to her friend, Nadya, and her doctor.

As I mentioned earlier, Nadya had sent literature on LBD and I read it.  It seemed to fit, but I wasn't sure, as I'm not a doctor.  Then, her doctor mentioned it.  At this time, though, we had discovered Mom had been back on Lorazopan, and had taken a 2 month supply in 3 weeks.  As I told the doctor, then, I needed to see what happened next when she was cut off the drug.

During this time, Mom called both Lawrence and myself about being kidnapped and taken to Alaska (luckily she was able to get away and fly back home).  She was hiding out in the house.  The next day, she called me to tell me she had been on a walk with my grandmother and she had walked away from Mom, and Mom didn't know what to do.  I calmed her down.

The next day, Mom was being held hostage in a house that wasn't hers.  She was going to get in her car (it was dark) and go looking for her own home.  I told her to find a place to sleep there, and do that in the morning (praying she would take my advice and realize her mistake).

There were other times when she was convinced people were in the house stealing her things - even as we spoke.  I heard nothing.  I asked her to hold the phone near them so I could see if I recognized the voices (I had a hunch this was a hallucination), and she tried, but she said they could speak only to her, perhaps.

There was the incident the Spring before when she called me and told me she had moved the previous night.  She had gone to bed in Port Angeles and awoken in Beaverton.  She was praising the moving company for doing it so quickly and stealthily that it didn't wake her, and they moved her into a house that was nearly identical to her home in PA!  Then she argued that the Straits of Juan de Fuca were present in Beaverton (they're only 250 miles away....).  She had even called Nadya to tell her Goodbye!  Nadya phoned me (this had gone on for 3-4 days, and she was furious we wouldn't stop by for coffee) asking why Mom had moved.  I had to explain it was all a hallucination, and that Mom was still at her old number.  I told her to phone her there.  She did.  Voila!  The hallucination stopped somehow!  But she still says she did move...she's stubborn that way...

So, the diagnosis didn't come as a surprise.  She didn't really wash her dishes, she didn't do any more housecleaning.  She didn't do much yard work.  She wasn't doing much at all - she tried, but nothing came of it.  The decline, when we actually began piecing it together, was swift.

Now ensconced in St. Anthony's in Portland, Mom is not accepting her lot.  She's eased more into the routine, and the fact she receives a massage every Friday (I decided she needed it to help with the tension and anxiety) makes her happy.

There will be more to come, later....about LBD, Mom and her care, and our visits.

Mom Gets A Day Out....

Mom at Council Crest Park 3/27/14

Today was going to be a lunch date.  A lunch date with Mom, her cousin, Alice, and Alice's daughter, Kathy.  Alice was diagnosed with LBD in October/November of 2013.  She lived in Astoria, and had moved in to a residential facility near her old home.  However, some things arose, and her children quickly had to move to determine what was to be done.  

Well, Alice now lives nearby my home, in Beaverton, in a memory care facility, about 90 miles from her old home in Astoria.   Her daughter, Kathy (Kip) lives at the coast, as well, but drives up frequently to check on her mum.    We've done lunch before, and it went well......yes, well.  Alice was pretty much aware of her condition, while Mum was (and still is) in denial, so it made interesting conversation....

I called Kip to make sure I had the time right, and left a message.  I raced across Portland - about 25 miles from my residence, via sideroads and freeways, and did pretty well at 25 minutes.    Okay, so I sped a little...  I found her in her room, feeling quite brightly.  I told her we were going to lunch with Alice, and she was delighted.

However, as is typical, she wanted time to gather her thoughts and chat - chat about what she believes needs to occur.  Today it was about whether my brothers had integrity.  "If you brothers had a drop of integrity, they would get in touch with the Elder Abuse people and get me out of here, as soon as possible!" she stated.   I reminded her that it was in the hands of the state and the doctors at this point.  Well, she wasn't buying it, but instead moved on...

"WE need to begin packing these things up and putting as much in your car and in mine, as well.  I need to get back home to Port Angeles, so I can pay my bills and get back to living my life."  Months ago, this would have slammed my heart, but given hearing this so often, and having made the attempts to explain, I was able to let it slide, and I said, "So, is that what you're going to wear?" 

This led to her getting ready.  The last thing we needed to do before we departed was to find her glasses and case.  Well, we found the glasses case -but it was full of silverware from the dining room, but no glasses.   I asked her about this.  "Well, I need a place to put it, don't I?"  A short conversation ensued about using the drawers or cupboards in her "kitchenette", but that wasn't going anywhere.... Hmmmmmm.  I found her glasses behind her recliner, and popped them into the case and then her purse.  

We were on our way, enjoying the sun peeking through the black and grey clouds, when my phone rang.  It was Kip.  Apparently, she had tried to contact me, earlier, but something happened and I was unawares...no problem...but she wasn't going to be able to do the 90 mile drive today.  So, we arranged to meet Sunday for Mass and then for lunch.  Done.

So, where to go?  Mom wanted to go somewhere with trees - no parking lots, buildings, etc.  Well, originally we were to go to Salvador Molly's in Hillsdale, but that wouldn't do.  So we drove through Hillsdale when I had an idea.  WE turned on Dosch and headed up to the top of the hill.  Mom was enjoying the ride, immensely.  We chatted about the blooms, trees, houses, and when we had lived in the area.  WE finally hit Patton, and turned.  WE went down past Strohoeker's, and toward Ainsworth Elementary.  There on the corner was Vista Springs Cafe.  My target.  Closed.  Yet - in 30 minutes it would be open!  Voila!

So we drove to Council Crest Park at the top of the hill.  I hadn't been there in a couple of decades, and Mom said she couldn't remember the last time (there is no pun there).  So we parked and walked about.  Glorious views and weather.  There's even a dogpark there!  Wow!  

The walk, the fresh air, the sun, and the conversation were finding Mother refreshed.  She doesn't get out as much as she wants, and she doesn't have the stamina she did a few years ago, but just a short jaunt is enough to invigorate her!

We went back to the cafe, where we had lunch - she ordered a personal BBQ chicken pizza with a glass of riesling, and I a chicken ceasar salad.  She was content.  It was a nice calm and positive atmosphere.  Until we were finshed and they brought her boxed pizza (what she couldn't eat) to our table.  She opened the tabs of the box and popped in the knife from her side of the table.  I asked her why? She said it was none of my business.  Hmmmmm.  I did get it out of there and back on the table where she couldn't get to it.  

Make a note:  Mom is hoarding silverware....????

I got her back to St. Anthony's, and she was ready for a nap.  She told me she needed more coke, as she had gone through her case, already (I bought it about 2 weeks ago) and she needed more wine (Yes, they allow her to have wine in her room, I think...at least they give it to her with dinner if she requests it).  She also was a little angry that I didn't sharpen her eyebrow pencil...

As i left, I checked with Mike, the LPN who runs her cottage and the adjoining one.  WE're getting her a sharpener.  

Mom did finish Physical Therapy last week, so Mo, the P/T and Activities Coordinator  received badminton racquets with birdies, balloons, and a stability ball for Mom.  This way Mom has various ways to keep active.  

Also, Mom has been going to Bible Study in another part of the campus, and also goes to a singing group, at least once a week.  She says it's nice for a time...(this means she likes it, but won't admit it).  

Last night, Mom won at BINGO!  she was with Mo, and she won chocolate covered graham crackers.  When she told me she looked so happy!  

Today was full of laughs and smiles.  Something we don't always have.  Something we need to remember. 

Mom Is Diagnosed Part I

My mother has always been a dynamic character.  She's always on the go, thinking, reading, hiking, playing pickleball, hiking, tennis, swimming, playing bridge, and organizing (including people's lives for better or worse).   Her driving reflected this, as well, insofar as it was tantamount to riding a thrill ride at an amusement park.

She has never thought her driving was an issue, and takes umbrage at anyone who would question it.   I always thought she would die on the road, and prayed she didn't take anyone out with her when she did.

She had driven to Portland for Thanksgiving and became lost, after driving around Vancouver for a few hours.  Of course, I attributed this to her leaving PA quite late, and in the dark and rain, it would be confusing with all the traffic.  She was rattled, but we found her and she went to my brother's house for the holiday.  I did have to lead her out of town, just so she could find her way.  But, other than that, and a little confusion, once she was under way, she navigated jolly well.

Well, that came to a close, nearly a year ago.

For the previous two years we'd seen a change in Mom.  She wasn't quite as active, and seemed more easily tired than before.  We attributed this to her age.  After all, she was over 80, and these things are to be expected.

After we threw her 80th birthday party in Port Angeles, which was the last time all four brothers were together, we all began to see a mental decline - me, most of all, as I was the one who visited her more regularly.

I remember Christmas of 2011, most of all, because it was when I was having doubts about her mental capacity;  Mom had always been rather sharp, and she was growing vague and confused.  I made an appointment for us (she and I) to see her doctor a few days after.

On Christmas, though, at breakfast, she and I were chatting and she stated that we were at her old house in Portland.  I told her we weren't, and she asked if we were at my house in Beaverton.  I told her, "No...We're at your house in Port Angeles."  She gave a wry smile and and said, "You're just trying to confuse me, aren't you!"

I had her look out the window to her backyard and asked her who had planted all the bushes and mowed the lawn.  She replied that she did.  I took her to the picture windows that looked out over the Straits of Juan de Fuca, The San Juans, Vancouver Island, Mount Baker, and asked her where she was now.  She responded that we were at her house, of course, and for me to stop being silly.

We spent the rest of the morning with her cleaning the house, while I waited for her to wrap presents so we could open them.  She just couldn't figure out how to wrap them.  I told her to just put them in a paper bag and I would draw them out.  So, she came into the living room with a book for me and asked if i'd read it.  It was my gift from her, along with an REI card I'd helped her buy over Thanksgiving.

She had a pile of gifts for people in her room, but they were all unwrapped.  I asked if I could help but she told me it was her task, and for me to leave them be.  I suppose this was frustrating for her.

We did see the doctor, and Mom kept breaking down and crying.  I had made sure her best friend, Nadya, was with us.  We had all seen the change.  I blamed the Lorazopan she was taking.  The doctor decided she also needed to see a psychiatrist just to be able to make a better determination of what was going on.  Mom was also sure her mother (who passed in 1984) and my father (who passed in 1995) had to play a part in the decisions.  This was concerning.

Fast forward to March 2013.  I was on my way to Mom's for Spring Break.  I had been receiving many calls from her friends, cousin, doctor (a new one - she fired the first one because of the psych eval she feared would be everyone talking about her with her in the hallway - hence paranoia), and the second one said something about her driving - hence she fired her.

Nadya had been sending me literature for the past year on Lewy Body Syndrome, and it seemed to fit, but I am no doctor, and I needed to have the experts figure this out.  After fielding calls from all these people, and my oldest brother, as well as frantic calls from Mom, I was quite worried.   I had no idea what we were going to do.

Larry, my oldest brother, and I had spoken with Mom while we were both up in PA about her moving back to Portland, so we could take care of her.  She regarded this as an imposition, but said nothing until I phoned her from home the next evening.  She was absolutely furious we would have such a conversation with her - nothing was wrong with her.

So, I was driving up to her place when I received the call I didn't want;  her doctor was phoning me to tell me she was about to put through paperwork to a hospital in Tukwila (outside of Seattle) to admit Mom.  She stated that Mom was unable to continue to care for herself any longer, and as a professional, she was unable to allow it.  We talked, and I told her that my brother, Tom, who also had the durable power-of-attorney (I had this and the medical power-of-attorney, as well), and his wife and i would be meeting with her on Monday to decide what to do;  but I told her to put the paperwork through, just as a precaution.  She agreed, especially when I told her I was nearly there, and would spend the next 5-6 days with Mum.

I took Mom everywhere I knew she loved, in those 5 days.  We went to Victoria, Port Townsend, Salt Creek, Crescent Lake, Dungeness Spit, and all the marvelous spots on the Olympic Peninsula she loved so dearly.  And every night she'd remark, as she gazed out her picture windows, how much she loved the view and that house.  My heart was breaking knowing what was coming.

Monday, my brother, Tom, and his wife, Peg, showed up.  We all had lunch together, and then dropped Mom off so we could go "chat".  Mom wasn't happy we left her alone, but understood that we hadn't seen each other for 3 years.  We actually went to see the doctor, and she explained that Mom needed in-patient observation in a Geri-Psych ward.  We agreed, reluctantly.  There really wasn't another choice, unless i would move in with her, give up my job, my house, and everything else.

So, the next day, off she went.  I dropped her off at Tom's house in Port Orchard, and I drove home, contacting my other two siblings.

Mom went in, and I began to do my due diligence of finding a spot for her in Portland.  The next week, the doctors had a conference call with Tom and me, and gave us the diagnosis of Lewy Body Syndrome.