My mother has always been a dynamic character. She's always on the go, thinking, reading, hiking, playing pickleball, hiking, tennis, swimming, playing bridge, and organizing (including people's lives for better or worse). Her driving reflected this, as well, insofar as it was tantamount to riding a thrill ride at an amusement park.
She has never thought her driving was an issue, and takes umbrage at anyone who would question it. I always thought she would die on the road, and prayed she didn't take anyone out with her when she did.
She had driven to Portland for Thanksgiving and became lost, after driving around Vancouver for a few hours. Of course, I attributed this to her leaving PA quite late, and in the dark and rain, it would be confusing with all the traffic. She was rattled, but we found her and she went to my brother's house for the holiday. I did have to lead her out of town, just so she could find her way. But, other than that, and a little confusion, once she was under way, she navigated jolly well.
Well, that came to a close, nearly a year ago.
For the previous two years we'd seen a change in Mom. She wasn't quite as active, and seemed more easily tired than before. We attributed this to her age. After all, she was over 80, and these things are to be expected.
After we threw her 80th birthday party in Port Angeles, which was the last time all four brothers were together, we all began to see a mental decline - me, most of all, as I was the one who visited her more regularly.
I remember Christmas of 2011, most of all, because it was when I was having doubts about her mental capacity; Mom had always been rather sharp, and she was growing vague and confused. I made an appointment for us (she and I) to see her doctor a few days after.
On Christmas, though, at breakfast, she and I were chatting and she stated that we were at her old house in Portland. I told her we weren't, and she asked if we were at my house in Beaverton. I told her, "No...We're at your house in Port Angeles." She gave a wry smile and and said, "You're just trying to confuse me, aren't you!"
I had her look out the window to her backyard and asked her who had planted all the bushes and mowed the lawn. She replied that she did. I took her to the picture windows that looked out over the Straits of Juan de Fuca, The San Juans, Vancouver Island, Mount Baker, and asked her where she was now. She responded that we were at her house, of course, and for me to stop being silly.
We spent the rest of the morning with her cleaning the house, while I waited for her to wrap presents so we could open them. She just couldn't figure out how to wrap them. I told her to just put them in a paper bag and I would draw them out. So, she came into the living room with a book for me and asked if i'd read it. It was my gift from her, along with an REI card I'd helped her buy over Thanksgiving.
She had a pile of gifts for people in her room, but they were all unwrapped. I asked if I could help but she told me it was her task, and for me to leave them be. I suppose this was frustrating for her.
We did see the doctor, and Mom kept breaking down and crying. I had made sure her best friend, Nadya, was with us. We had all seen the change. I blamed the Lorazopan she was taking. The doctor decided she also needed to see a psychiatrist just to be able to make a better determination of what was going on. Mom was also sure her mother (who passed in 1984) and my father (who passed in 1995) had to play a part in the decisions. This was concerning.
Fast forward to March 2013. I was on my way to Mom's for Spring Break. I had been receiving many calls from her friends, cousin, doctor (a new one - she fired the first one because of the psych eval she feared would be everyone talking about her with her in the hallway - hence paranoia), and the second one said something about her driving - hence she fired her.
Nadya had been sending me literature for the past year on Lewy Body Syndrome, and it seemed to fit, but I am no doctor, and I needed to have the experts figure this out. After fielding calls from all these people, and my oldest brother, as well as frantic calls from Mom, I was quite worried. I had no idea what we were going to do.
Larry, my oldest brother, and I had spoken with Mom while we were both up in PA about her moving back to Portland, so we could take care of her. She regarded this as an imposition, but said nothing until I phoned her from home the next evening. She was absolutely furious we would have such a conversation with her - nothing was wrong with her.
So, I was driving up to her place when I received the call I didn't want; her doctor was phoning me to tell me she was about to put through paperwork to a hospital in Tukwila (outside of Seattle) to admit Mom. She stated that Mom was unable to continue to care for herself any longer, and as a professional, she was unable to allow it. We talked, and I told her that my brother, Tom, who also had the durable power-of-attorney (I had this and the medical power-of-attorney, as well), and his wife and i would be meeting with her on Monday to decide what to do; but I told her to put the paperwork through, just as a precaution. She agreed, especially when I told her I was nearly there, and would spend the next 5-6 days with Mum.
I took Mom everywhere I knew she loved, in those 5 days. We went to Victoria, Port Townsend, Salt Creek, Crescent Lake, Dungeness Spit, and all the marvelous spots on the Olympic Peninsula she loved so dearly. And every night she'd remark, as she gazed out her picture windows, how much she loved the view and that house. My heart was breaking knowing what was coming.
Monday, my brother, Tom, and his wife, Peg, showed up. We all had lunch together, and then dropped Mom off so we could go "chat". Mom wasn't happy we left her alone, but understood that we hadn't seen each other for 3 years. We actually went to see the doctor, and she explained that Mom needed in-patient observation in a Geri-Psych ward. We agreed, reluctantly. There really wasn't another choice, unless i would move in with her, give up my job, my house, and everything else.
So, the next day, off she went. I dropped her off at Tom's house in Port Orchard, and I drove home, contacting my other two siblings.
Mom went in, and I began to do my due diligence of finding a spot for her in Portland. The next week, the doctors had a conference call with Tom and me, and gave us the diagnosis of Lewy Body Syndrome.
She has never thought her driving was an issue, and takes umbrage at anyone who would question it. I always thought she would die on the road, and prayed she didn't take anyone out with her when she did.
She had driven to Portland for Thanksgiving and became lost, after driving around Vancouver for a few hours. Of course, I attributed this to her leaving PA quite late, and in the dark and rain, it would be confusing with all the traffic. She was rattled, but we found her and she went to my brother's house for the holiday. I did have to lead her out of town, just so she could find her way. But, other than that, and a little confusion, once she was under way, she navigated jolly well.
Well, that came to a close, nearly a year ago.
For the previous two years we'd seen a change in Mom. She wasn't quite as active, and seemed more easily tired than before. We attributed this to her age. After all, she was over 80, and these things are to be expected.
After we threw her 80th birthday party in Port Angeles, which was the last time all four brothers were together, we all began to see a mental decline - me, most of all, as I was the one who visited her more regularly.
I remember Christmas of 2011, most of all, because it was when I was having doubts about her mental capacity; Mom had always been rather sharp, and she was growing vague and confused. I made an appointment for us (she and I) to see her doctor a few days after.
On Christmas, though, at breakfast, she and I were chatting and she stated that we were at her old house in Portland. I told her we weren't, and she asked if we were at my house in Beaverton. I told her, "No...We're at your house in Port Angeles." She gave a wry smile and and said, "You're just trying to confuse me, aren't you!"
I had her look out the window to her backyard and asked her who had planted all the bushes and mowed the lawn. She replied that she did. I took her to the picture windows that looked out over the Straits of Juan de Fuca, The San Juans, Vancouver Island, Mount Baker, and asked her where she was now. She responded that we were at her house, of course, and for me to stop being silly.
We spent the rest of the morning with her cleaning the house, while I waited for her to wrap presents so we could open them. She just couldn't figure out how to wrap them. I told her to just put them in a paper bag and I would draw them out. So, she came into the living room with a book for me and asked if i'd read it. It was my gift from her, along with an REI card I'd helped her buy over Thanksgiving.
She had a pile of gifts for people in her room, but they were all unwrapped. I asked if I could help but she told me it was her task, and for me to leave them be. I suppose this was frustrating for her.
We did see the doctor, and Mom kept breaking down and crying. I had made sure her best friend, Nadya, was with us. We had all seen the change. I blamed the Lorazopan she was taking. The doctor decided she also needed to see a psychiatrist just to be able to make a better determination of what was going on. Mom was also sure her mother (who passed in 1984) and my father (who passed in 1995) had to play a part in the decisions. This was concerning.
Fast forward to March 2013. I was on my way to Mom's for Spring Break. I had been receiving many calls from her friends, cousin, doctor (a new one - she fired the first one because of the psych eval she feared would be everyone talking about her with her in the hallway - hence paranoia), and the second one said something about her driving - hence she fired her.
Nadya had been sending me literature for the past year on Lewy Body Syndrome, and it seemed to fit, but I am no doctor, and I needed to have the experts figure this out. After fielding calls from all these people, and my oldest brother, as well as frantic calls from Mom, I was quite worried. I had no idea what we were going to do.
Larry, my oldest brother, and I had spoken with Mom while we were both up in PA about her moving back to Portland, so we could take care of her. She regarded this as an imposition, but said nothing until I phoned her from home the next evening. She was absolutely furious we would have such a conversation with her - nothing was wrong with her.
So, I was driving up to her place when I received the call I didn't want; her doctor was phoning me to tell me she was about to put through paperwork to a hospital in Tukwila (outside of Seattle) to admit Mom. She stated that Mom was unable to continue to care for herself any longer, and as a professional, she was unable to allow it. We talked, and I told her that my brother, Tom, who also had the durable power-of-attorney (I had this and the medical power-of-attorney, as well), and his wife and i would be meeting with her on Monday to decide what to do; but I told her to put the paperwork through, just as a precaution. She agreed, especially when I told her I was nearly there, and would spend the next 5-6 days with Mum.
I took Mom everywhere I knew she loved, in those 5 days. We went to Victoria, Port Townsend, Salt Creek, Crescent Lake, Dungeness Spit, and all the marvelous spots on the Olympic Peninsula she loved so dearly. And every night she'd remark, as she gazed out her picture windows, how much she loved the view and that house. My heart was breaking knowing what was coming.
Monday, my brother, Tom, and his wife, Peg, showed up. We all had lunch together, and then dropped Mom off so we could go "chat". Mom wasn't happy we left her alone, but understood that we hadn't seen each other for 3 years. We actually went to see the doctor, and she explained that Mom needed in-patient observation in a Geri-Psych ward. We agreed, reluctantly. There really wasn't another choice, unless i would move in with her, give up my job, my house, and everything else.
So, the next day, off she went. I dropped her off at Tom's house in Port Orchard, and I drove home, contacting my other two siblings.
Mom went in, and I began to do my due diligence of finding a spot for her in Portland. The next week, the doctors had a conference call with Tom and me, and gave us the diagnosis of Lewy Body Syndrome.
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