It's that time of year when the world falls in love and the shopping traffic becomes less than ideal. Sure, some of us enjoy the pleasure of shopping online, but there are still some items best left to discovering while pacing the corridors of the malls.
Mom liked shopping at the mall. She'd want me to go with her (imagine my delight) while she looked high and low for things in nearly every store - sometimes disappearing as we walked toward the exit, and my finding her trying to decide if something was a better buy than what she'd bought much earlier. Truthfully, and I do say this with respect, it was very much as though I had my 3 dogs out for a walk on their leashes, discovering a large area for the first time - there was no pacing, and there were times it felt eternal. However, when she wandered off, she could be more elusive than they. This was for years before she was diagnosed, so don't pin the blame on Lewy!
After Mom was diagnosed it became an adventure to take her to the mall or Costco. She became tired and confused. She'd ask to sit for a minute while I grabbed something from another aisle, and I'd oblige - only to horrifyingly discover she was already on the move after a few brief minutes and only God knew where she'd gone. Of course, all ended well, and it was a bit like playing hide-n-seek with a twist, but with the stress of taking her and now this, it was a bit much - nothing unmanageable- but I was lucky.
The malls and stores became very distracting and very stressful for her; the same could be said for family gatherings, as she was out of her element and so much activity and chatter only confused her.
So, this is why I'm posting this - for those who may have good intentions but need to be aware.
1. Shopping - Go early in the day (not on a weekend) if you must. Mom demanded we go so we did, and I figured it'd wipe her out in a good way. It did. Me, too. Keep it direct and simple what you're shopping for, and where you're going. If going to the mall, park outside the store of choice - and venture out into the mall if only for a short distance. Keep it simple, quiet and pleasant.
2. Holiday Cheer - Keep it simple. Mom was quite out of sync with the seasons and hadn't the notion of when Christmas, Easter, her birthday or anything was. Yes, even the snow didn't convince her, nor the leafless trees ("All those dead trees are terrible. The city needs to come and take them down!" she'd comment on fall/winter outings). A few simple decorations here and there are great if kept out of reach - otherwise, they may disappear whether you approve or not.
3. Gatherings - Unless there is evidence they are able to withstand a great deal of stimulation, it may be best to keep them under wraps and have people visit, keeping it quiet, but pleasant. It's natural to be inclusive, but it could be more detrimental to them and your mental tank of holiday cheer than it's worth. If they are included, and begin to become agitated, whether you like it or not it's time for them to go home (or a quiet spot they're quite used to).
4. Children - Not a good mix for any length of time - keep it short and keep the tots controlled. They tend to be quite jolly at this time of year, and love seeing cousins and relatives - and Nana in the chair may not be the first person they want to cling to.
5. Visitations - Perfect gift for them all. Make more than one - even if you believe they won't remember. Their immediate memory doesn't, but the dopamine and other parts of their brain do - it works magic for their well-being, especially if it's a pleasant and warm visit. Maybe read to them, just sit and hold a hand. One man, I knew, brought his folks color books and crayons while he chatted with them. They were utterly delighted! And those you can buy at Dollar Tree - so no huge cost. Simple, right?!
Be Good To Yourself, and Be Good to the Lewy Patient. If you find yourself feeling guilty, is it because of ego or you miss them? If it's the latter, go visit. That's the most important gift of all.
Mom liked shopping at the mall. She'd want me to go with her (imagine my delight) while she looked high and low for things in nearly every store - sometimes disappearing as we walked toward the exit, and my finding her trying to decide if something was a better buy than what she'd bought much earlier. Truthfully, and I do say this with respect, it was very much as though I had my 3 dogs out for a walk on their leashes, discovering a large area for the first time - there was no pacing, and there were times it felt eternal. However, when she wandered off, she could be more elusive than they. This was for years before she was diagnosed, so don't pin the blame on Lewy!
After Mom was diagnosed it became an adventure to take her to the mall or Costco. She became tired and confused. She'd ask to sit for a minute while I grabbed something from another aisle, and I'd oblige - only to horrifyingly discover she was already on the move after a few brief minutes and only God knew where she'd gone. Of course, all ended well, and it was a bit like playing hide-n-seek with a twist, but with the stress of taking her and now this, it was a bit much - nothing unmanageable- but I was lucky.
The malls and stores became very distracting and very stressful for her; the same could be said for family gatherings, as she was out of her element and so much activity and chatter only confused her.
So, this is why I'm posting this - for those who may have good intentions but need to be aware.
1. Shopping - Go early in the day (not on a weekend) if you must. Mom demanded we go so we did, and I figured it'd wipe her out in a good way. It did. Me, too. Keep it direct and simple what you're shopping for, and where you're going. If going to the mall, park outside the store of choice - and venture out into the mall if only for a short distance. Keep it simple, quiet and pleasant.
2. Holiday Cheer - Keep it simple. Mom was quite out of sync with the seasons and hadn't the notion of when Christmas, Easter, her birthday or anything was. Yes, even the snow didn't convince her, nor the leafless trees ("All those dead trees are terrible. The city needs to come and take them down!" she'd comment on fall/winter outings). A few simple decorations here and there are great if kept out of reach - otherwise, they may disappear whether you approve or not.
3. Gatherings - Unless there is evidence they are able to withstand a great deal of stimulation, it may be best to keep them under wraps and have people visit, keeping it quiet, but pleasant. It's natural to be inclusive, but it could be more detrimental to them and your mental tank of holiday cheer than it's worth. If they are included, and begin to become agitated, whether you like it or not it's time for them to go home (or a quiet spot they're quite used to).
4. Children - Not a good mix for any length of time - keep it short and keep the tots controlled. They tend to be quite jolly at this time of year, and love seeing cousins and relatives - and Nana in the chair may not be the first person they want to cling to.
5. Visitations - Perfect gift for them all. Make more than one - even if you believe they won't remember. Their immediate memory doesn't, but the dopamine and other parts of their brain do - it works magic for their well-being, especially if it's a pleasant and warm visit. Maybe read to them, just sit and hold a hand. One man, I knew, brought his folks color books and crayons while he chatted with them. They were utterly delighted! And those you can buy at Dollar Tree - so no huge cost. Simple, right?!
Be Good To Yourself, and Be Good to the Lewy Patient. If you find yourself feeling guilty, is it because of ego or you miss them? If it's the latter, go visit. That's the most important gift of all.
i was diagnosed of parkinson disease 5 years ago,i started azilect,then mirapex as the disease progressed in february last year,and i started on parkinson disease herbal medicine from ultimate life clinic,few months into the treatment i made a significant recovery,almost all my symptoms are gone,great improvement with my movement and balance,it been a year and life has been so good for me,reach them through there website at www.ultimatelifeclinic.com
ReplyDeletei was diagnosed of parkinson disease 5 years ago,i started azilect,then mirapex as the disease progressed in february last year,and i started on parkinson disease herbal medicine from ultimate life clinic,few months into the treatment i made a significant recovery,almost all my symptoms are gone,great improvement with my movement and balance,it been a year and life has been so good for me,reach them through there website at www.ultimatelifeclinic.com
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