This week found me calling and checking on Mom daily. I began by shopping for underwear and mattress pads (waterproof). Mom had been, apparently, throwing her panties out (no one can find any) - embarrassed by them as they were evidence of something gone wrong. The mattress pads were in preparation for what I believe is coming in the near future - incontinence and the inability to make it to the loo during the night/day while she sleeps/rests.
On Monday, Mom ate lunch and dinner. They were able to get her up and dressed in fresh, clean clothes. Morina took her for a walk around the church and gardens outside of the facility. Mom walked slowly as her balance is steadily declining, and she is shuffling much more. She was very tired, still, as I mentioned on the weekend.
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| Mom with Leddy |
We discussed her having a massage, again, and she seemed amenable to the idea, so I contacted Alli, the massage therapist from before, who agreed to try with Mom, again, on Monday after lunch. This may be a good thing! After all, Mom complains of her back pain, and I have a suspicion she is also suffering in her intestines - this may help move things about and allow her to relax and feel better.
She had also been with Linda, the gardening lady, who comes by once a week to have a “garden club”. Two years ago, Mom had the star planter! Since then, Mom has had no interest in participating due to her declines.
Later that day, Mom went to the music program in the main facility, then for another walk with Morina. She was very tired, but attentive and willing. A good sign. She ate her dinner that evening before turning in.
Wednesday, Mom was still tired, but arose for breakfast and went to Mass, which they hold in the great room of her cottage. Connie and Jean arrived just as it finished (they came before lunch to escape the impending heat of the day). This is a snippet of Jean’s account:
Dear Tony,
Connie and I got to St. Anthony's just before 11am. Norma's room was not locked, so we went in, then thought better of that. So we met Norma as she and others were being escorted back from Mass in the dining room.
She seemed glad to see us; we all made ourselves comfortable in her room. Connie did not notice what Norma was wearing, but said she looked nice. I agree with that; did not see anything amiss such as food stains or other spots.
We did not ask about Mass, who was there, any questions...why not?
We chatted easily, and Norma offered us a Pepsi. I did not take one, but the other ladies did. Three cans left in the refrig.(NB It has been over a month since I put in a half case of the soda, and Mom isn’t drinking it as much as she used to).
Norma mentioned that the chair where I sat had been her great-grandmother's. I said I knew that,and that it is beautiful,and must be treated well.
Norma's speech seemed better than it's been lately. She had at least two complete sentences; mostly partial sentences, but always with expression and meaning, even if that was not clear to us.
I mentioned that the garden lady had been there the day before. Could not tell if that was in Norma's memory bank, but she did say Linda, the garden lady (yes, she named her) seemed to seek her out for the garden time. I offered it was probably because Linda knows Norma likes to learn. (Why didn't I say it's because Norma loves to garden, or enjoys flowers?)
Connie told us she and a friend in ACCW were going to write a story about the coming ACCW convention.They send their stories to the Sentinel; sometimes the stories are used.
Something Connie said prompted Norma to ask,"Was it Pat Carr?" I asked if she knew him;she said they were in the same class at St.Rose. I said that my brother Jim had worked with/for Pat in an insurance company. No more on that.
It was comfortable in Norma's room; temp was 72. When she went to the loo, I turned it to 68 for a few minutes. Then I noticed both windows were open, so turned off the A/C.
Lunch was being put on tables, so we said our goodbyes. Norma seemed sleepy then.
Mom ate her lunch, and went walking with Morina, then rested. She doesn’t eat with the others, preferring to rest before and then come out when it’s quieter (I believe she is avoiding contact with most of the other residents, as it is soooo quiet during meal times).
Thursday, Mom refused to go with the attendants to have her hair done, so Morina took her down. Mom had her perm, then returned. She will have a pedicure next week. She also went for a walk with Morina and was still complaining of pain and fatigue.
Friday, I phoned and Mom was still in bed, but they were unable to wake her - she was breathing, but she demonstrated very little response when they attempted to get her to open her eyes.
When the aide came in to get her ready for breakfast, I later discovered, Mom was fully dressed and shooed her out of the room as she went back to bed. The aide came back later and Mom had done the same. It was probably 5-10 minutes later that I was on the phone and they began trying to get her to respond.
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| Mom rests in the ER |
I drove to the ER where I found Mom sitting up in bed. Her voice was nearly normal and she didn’t seem very tired - quite the opposite of how she’s been in the past weeks. She spoke of something with her grandfather, and that my dad was up to something, but I can’t recall what.
Later, I took her back to St. A’s, as all the tests came out normal, so they discharged her. She walked slowly, but it wasn’t a shuffle today. Was this a rally before another decline? I wondered.
She began scratching at the nail polish on her fingers, because she said it didn't look natural enough, and scratching it made it look better. <sigh>
She began scratching at the nail polish on her fingers, because she said it didn't look natural enough, and scratching it made it look better. <sigh>
Also, there is concern as while they did their best to rouse her, she did open her eyes briefly then went back into sleep - was she truly unconscious at this time? What was really happening? This is the underlying question.
Back at St. A’s, she went to use the loo (she used it at least 3 times at the ER), and came out for lunch which she ate about 75% of, but she dug right in to the dessert! She then went to reading the paper when I left after speaking with the Nurse in Charge.
Saturday, Mom was up and vital. She was dressed and eating breakfast when I phoned, and seemed rather agreeable.
Later that day, in the early afternoon, my brother went over for a visit and Mom decided she needed to nap - so she crawled into bed and fell fast asleep within moments. He stated she seemed tired when he had arrived, and after a brief conversation she stated she was quite tired.
So, with her comatose, he left as there was nothing else to do.
Sunday (today),
Mom was up early, but she had slept in her clothes (again). Leddy (one of Mom’s favorite workers) tried to get her to take a shower, but Mom fought back and grew angry with her. Finally, Leddy was able to get her to change her clothes so she could toss them in the laundry, and Mom changed into clean clothes Leddy had picked out for her.
After lunch, Mom read her paper for a bit, then decided she was too tired and went back to bed - she was fast asleep by 230 pm.
After lunch, Mom read her paper for a bit, then decided she was too tired and went back to bed - she was fast asleep by 230 pm.
Mom is still tired and growing more so. One observation may be that Mom may be going to the bathroom up and down all night, which may explain her exhaustion. They are also wondering if she sleeps, sometimes, in her recliner, as they, many times, find her there sleeping in the morning. It’s all so confounding, and Mom tells them what she thinks she did, but that isn’t reliable, as we all know now.
Mom still won’t bathe - and this is a major issue at this point. It’s now been a month and everyone is at a loss as to what to do next. So, this week we will be having a meeting to try to solve some of these issues and put together a service plan for her.
So, that’s the scoop!
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