This week saw nothing abnormal, really! Oh yeah! There was the one incident - Mom was in a mood, the other evening. But I’ll get to that in a short bit. The truth is, Mom has been slowly degenerating, again, and it’s actually a matter of time before the next shoe drops - I’m guessing within the next 2 weeks, but then, who am I?
Mom has been eating rather well - refusing some meals, or eating most of some and little of the others - but then her activity level hasn’t exactly been Olympic, so her need for extra calories doesn’t exist.
Her moods have been pretty congenial, as well. She allows staff to help her change, shower, and clean her, when necessary - except the other night. Now I’ll tell the tale.
The other night, Mom was having one of her “It’s so tough to be nice for such a long time” conflicts (read Taylor Caldwell’s “Growing Up Tough - the first chapters will enlighten you). Anyhow, poor Reina was attempting to help Mom who was a mess. Mom took off her disposable “necessities” and refused to be cleaned or have help changing. During this time she had (let us say) a watery episode. Mom was adamant that Reina was not going to help! Nor was anyone else!
So, Mom put on her nightie after taking off everything else. Next, she decided she was going to continue going out without the disposable “necessity”. Reina stepped in to remind her and help her when suddenly Mom became a cat. Yes, she lashed out with her hands and scratched the poor Reina across the face. Well, that didn’t go over so well.
Finally, they were able to enable her to get into something more appropriate and calmed her down. Within a few minutes, Mom had forgotten the incident and was back to being calm, but there was still an edge….
Yes, they phoned me.
On Thursday, Connie and Jean came to visit. Here is their account:
We got to St A's after 11 today; Connie signs us in.
Norma was sitting quietly at a table in the great room, looking at the Nat'l Geographic Christmas catalog.
Connie gave her the Wall St.Journal and a catalog filled with expensive "toys" for people who have too much money. Connie wore her warm hat from Iceland and a long warm scarf.
We chatted about what's happening in our lives, and Norma made some comments we did not catch. At one time she was on her way to a longer sentence about something but lost it. Rosa said that Mom has been more alert lately. She was wearing the maroon shirt and pants--what color?
Norma does not like it when Jean says hello or waves to one of the friendly residents. Jean said, "Mea culpa," and told her she would try to stay humble.
"STAY humble?" she said with a sly smile. Our friend was back with us.
Jean got more coffee for Norma and a cup for Connie. Rosa brought juice for all of us.
Then Lianna and Rosa offered to move a table (all four were in a row, with lunch coming) so we three could be a bit separate from other tables--and residents. Norma did not appear to be inclined to stand up while her chair was moved; We grabbed Connie's walker and told Norma to see how nice it was to use. (Was a matter of just a few feet.)
Lunch came--a dish of yogurt, then soup, later a plate with a good helping of potato, lots of cut-up chicken and broccoli. Herself did not seem interested, as we encouraged her. We hope our conversation did not discourage her from eating. She ate very little, offered her plate to Jean, then to Connie; we declined, said she needs good food to be healthy.
Lianna said she would heat up the lunch when Norma was ready. We wondered if she ever was ready.
Sleepy time, with nodding. We decided it was time for us to leave. No protest. Connie said we will be back in a few days. As we put on our coats, Norma said quietly,"I'll go with you," but she did not sound serious. We told her Connie had to be home soon, and we kissed her goodbye, probably just as she began a little nap. Connie said,"It was a good visit," and it was.
On Friday, I received a call from Noel, the hospice nurse. We had a great chat. It seems as though Mom actually was increasing in her agitation more than I had realized. So, they determined they were going to increase her Depakote dosage in the mornings, but keep it the same in the mornings (it was the bare minimum, and just raised a tad). Mom had seemed rather talkative and alert when she was there, which warmed the cockles of my little icy heart.
Today, I went in and found Mom asleep over her breakfast. When I sat with her she didn’t have much to say, as she was rather doped up from the medication. However, she ate a bit of banana and then picked up her muffin. Although the muffin had ridges it had no paper/wrapper around it - but Mom was determined that it did, and took a fork and kept at it until the muffin was mangled - then she picked up the pieces and began nibbling.
During this time, I took her photo. I showed it to her and asked her who it could be. She thought it was her mother. I explained it was she, my dear mother, who was in the picture. She looked at me as though I had tried to fool her. Oh well.
Through our conversation she kept dropping off to sleep, lifting her head, once in awhile to listen to the table of ladies next to her chatting about nothing (really, it was nothing - everything they stated was random - it was quite a mental exercise to keep up).
She finally started in on her eggs, with her fingers, picking out the vegetables and cheese from the omelet, and then reached for the paper. As I left, she was involved in the pictures and nodding off, picking up a little egg here and there, some not making it to her mouth before she nodded off.
Within the week she should be adapted to the medication and, hopefully, will be a tad more alert during our visits. While her voice has become very weak, and her mumbling more the norm, she does try to make sense, in her mind.
She has developed a wee cough which they are monitoring and looking at to ensure she doesn’t become sick.
But that’s all folks, for this week! Tune in next time!
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