The Week Ending 04/24/2016

This week Mom kept a holding pattern - holding back from staying awake, holding back from eating - holding back from participation.  In other words, she was just there.  She was in a good and cooperative mood but just wasn’t interested in much else than sleep.

The most she had eaten this week was about 80% of her dinner one night - but that was more of a memorable occasion, since she really didn’t eat more than 20% of anything since then, and before that she’d eaten nearly nothing.  Maybe this is how she creates an appetite?  I doubt it.  

For me, it was tough that I couldn’t share that her #2 son, Tom, had died (he would argue that saying “Passed” made no sense - people die - they don’t pass) the previous weekend.  But, she probably wouldn’t be able to process it, and it would have done nothing but upset her (just as it upsets her when someone mentions that Dad or her mom have died).  So, in her condition, it was logical that she not attend the funeral in Seattle (that and taking her out would have been high holy Hell for her! Not to mention me! Her stress levels would have been extreme if she could stay awake that long.

And so, her week went on - staff needing to convince her to rise from her bed and slumbers and then trying to get her to eat.  

On Tuesday, she was given her shake, but then would take a little sip and put it down.  The staff would hand it back to her, and she’d sip and put it down.  I mean, she’d sip it - not her usual long drag of ingestion.  This went on until she’d finished - Leddy was worried that otherwise, she’d eat nothing!  And right she was.

Wednesday, Connie, and Jean came for a ribald visit (I’m exaggerating, just a tad here - I doubt either of them or Mom, could really be bawdy at this time).  Here is their account:

Dear Tony,

We checked in at St.Anthony's at 12:05 today. Lunch was being served, with residents at different stages of eating their meal.  Norma  was at the head of the table, not seeming to pay attention to her "subjects" along both sides of the table.  She was wearing a bright blue shirt with white on the top part.

We greeted the other ladies at the table: the two Lucilles, Elizabeth, and Dorothy.  

Connie had a new Wall Street Journal for Norma to peruse. She held it on her lap, we hoped to read later.

We remarked on the beautiful, warm day, and Jean said maybe we could go out to the gazebo.  Connie picked up on that, reminding Norma what fun we had playing Scrabble there.Norma showed no interest in what we said then, or for most of our time there.

A dish of soup was in front of Norma, so Jean picked up a spoon and offered a bite...no interest there.  A second try...same thing.  Soon there was a full plate of white fish, cut up, baby carrots, a few pieces of potato, and a generous serving of peas.  Apparently she had drunk the glass of juice and a cup of coffee.

It's always a challenge for us to be able to get some food into Norma.  She did take nearly half the fish, a few carrots, no peas, no potatoes.  No more for her. Jean watched with admiration how the caregivers help and feed the ladies who need help.

Then Elsa served green jello with a blob of whipped cream.  Elizabeth, to the  left, had polished off her meal with barely a crumb left.  A few minutes later, we saw her drinking the jello, which was melted by the warm sun from the windows above.  Thinking what a good idea that was, Jean asked Norma if she wanted to drink her jello--nope, but she did a few bites of the unmelted jello.

Jean told her friends that she was going to invite her sister Kathleen to visit.  "Would you like to see Kathleen?" Jean asked. "Yes," was the prompt, very quiet answer.

When anymore eating seemed to be a lost cause, Jean brought out little oranges for the three of us. she separated Norma's on a paper towel, with ours the same way.  Last time we had oranges she ate all of hers; no help needed.

This time, she did not seem to want any, but when Jean brought each piece to her mouth,she ate all of it. That is, all except for the piece Elizabeth helped herself to. She was quick for an old lady!

Maybe Mom would like some more coffee. We offered it, asking if we should get some for her.  That little, tiny not-Norma voice answered, "Probably."  Elsa brought out the coffee creamer to add to Norma's coffee, and Jean poured a cup for Connie.  Most of our time with her, Norma had her eyes closed.  Yet she heard us.

Norma was quite unresponsive most of our time there--1.25 hours.  She seemed very sleepy. We wondered if she did not have a decent night's sleep.  When her head dropped down, we decided it was time for us to leave. We promised to be back "in a few days."

It was as good a visit as any we have these days.  We plan to be at St.A's as long as Norma is.  She did seem comfortable in her wheelchair; no pain mentioned.

Thursday and Friday Mom was difficult to get out of bed.  In fact, on Friday she didn’t budge.  I asked if they checked for breathing, and they said it was unnecessary as it was obvious she was.  But they opened the windows, called her name, made all sorts of sounds - and yet she remained sleeping.   This sounded nearly a repeat of two months prior.  However, soon she awakened and was out with the rest of them, staring at her lunch.  

Saturday she was better, but it still was rather late when they were able to roust her from bed.  And, she ate very little.

Today, Sunday, she appeared the same, but then was ready to pounce on the day.  I arrived less than an hour later - in fact, I was there in under 30 minutes - but she was asleep.   She’d hardly touched her plate, if at all.  She wasn’t interested in the yogurt and told me she just didn’t feel right.  When probed, she just stared at me as though I were a mirror.  

Did she know who I was?  Well, I asked her, and then she closed her eyes and dropped off to snoozing.  

Her voice was very low and quiet today.  Her sentences made sense.  She liked the flowers I brought her and finally agreed to smell them.  

She told me she hadn’t read the paper nor seen it, and I directed her attention in front of her where it was on the table.  She took a glance and then went back to slumbering.  

I told her my brothers all sent their love and she, again, just stared, then went back to sleep.  

At last, I told her I loved her and I’d see her soon.  Her response was, “Maybe”.  Was this an omen?  I doubt it.  However, it seems she has begun to cough again, and it’s increasing, so I’m told.  This could be pneumonia again, and it could be asperative, as well, which could be awful - painful and possibly fatal.  We’ll keep a close eye on that - hospice has been informed.  

So, thank you all for your prayers and thoughts.  While her life hasn’t been riddled with all the twists and turns of the past two years (which I have to admit I’m bittersweet about not having) she is still looking a peck onery.  But, we’ll see how she does in the ensuing week.

Have a good one.

The Week Ending 04/17/2016

This week entered what Mom used to call, “The Bad Zone.”   This was the week in which both her parents died, among other events-Mom believed to have been negative.  For the most part, she’d be a little more uptight (if that was possible) for the duration of the 10th - 18th of April.  I had believed something would occur to her, during this time, but it wasn’t with her.

Monday through Friday, Mom ate - but still sparsely; however there were times she’d eat nearly 50% of a meal, but then very little of anything else.   She wasn’t very participatory, rather she preferred to “rest her eyes”.  

Mom smiles from her slumbers

She didn’t seem to want to do much of anything.  However, as is typical, she was quite tickled by the visit of her friends, Connie, and Jean:

Hi, Tony,

We had a good long visit yesterday.  Norma was finishing her lunch, with just a piece of cake left.

The coffee cup was empty; no interest in a refill.

She looked up at us with interest and greeted us.  Other ladies were finishing their meals, and Norma just did not pay attention to them. She had a good combo on, the purple and black striped shirt with the purple-edged light jacket, and gray pants.  We remarked on her pretty, wavy hair--probably just washed.  As usual, we spoke of the weather, and of the good old days when we played Scrabble in the gazebo.  We never see anyone in "our" gazebo; maybe warmer weather will change that.

Jean had brought a small peeled orange for each of us,and separated one in front of Norma.  During our time there she did eat all of it, even though she did not seem interested.  But we realize she probably does not exclaim at like or dislike for  many foods these days.  Her drink looked different; was there pistachio ice cream mixed in?  She drinks half of it during our visit, with no interest in more.

Connie told us about a birthday party at her house for 11-year-old grandson.

Norma usually responds to what we say.  Her voice is so quiet now; we listen carefully. Such a loud cry (pun, yes) from her usual strong voice.  But she does not miss a thing if we say something that deserves to be corrected. Jean tried, "I did really good with it," and she said gently, "well." No lecture, just a motherly correction.

Later, Jean was telling my friends that she was worried about my sister, Kathleen,who seems to have sleep apenea. (Another test.)  The teacher said quietly, "apnea."   Obviously, she's paying attention to what we say.

Dorothy (another resident) was at the table with us, carrying her lifelike baby with such care and affection that we all (two of us) joined her with asking about Baby, was she asleep,etc.  When Dorothy left us, she carefully kissed each of us on the forehead or cheek--little baby kisses.  Norma did not react to the kisses.  How gentle she has become! Connie and Jean both thanked Dorothy.  We were happy for her, with her little one to care for.

Morina came in from North Cottage, sat a while with us.

Noelle came in and we visited with her, as she asked Norma how she was.  We don't remember Norma's responses, except that she did not say she'd had back pain lately. We told her she had not complained of it during our visit.

We said it was time for us to leave.  We left Noelle with Norma.

The times they are a’changing.

God bless,

Jean

While it is true, that Mom still has many mental capabilities they are still fading into the nether regions.  

Saturday, Mom stayed in bed and ate nary a bite, but for her shake, which she savors.  

Sunday, Mom, again, was in bed as I came in.  She was sound asleep.  I wasn’t able to rouse her readily, so I went and checked on her records.   

This morning, she had had some juice, her meds, and that was it.  She wasn’t hungry.  When she awoke, she told me she was quite happy in bed, and couldn’t think of why she should be up.  I asked if she was that sleepy, and she replied, “I’m not asleep, you are!”  I had to chuckle.  

I was not able to tell her that her second son, Tom, had passed away the night before.  It was a shock.  However, there would be no purpose in delivering the news to her, but to upset her, and even then she mightn’t remember.  Better to allow him to surprise her when she walks through those pearly gates and have him stand there, smiling, reach out to her and kiss her while welcoming her.  He would like to be able to do that - he enjoyed surprising her that way.  

My brother, Tom, circa 1961/2

So, as she continues on her path, eating less and less (who knows? Tomorrow she could pull one of her rebounds and begin devouring anything in sight!) and sleeping more and more, we mourn the loss of our brother, her son, and we tend to her needs.  

God Bless.

Someone You Know Has Dementia - What Can You Do?

Last summer, I read a book that mirrored so many situations that reflected a family dealing with a loved one’s struggle with dementia, We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas.  As the character begins his descent into another realm of reality, his friends begin to disappear - one finally stating, “We just don’t know what to do, or say, or how to deal with the situation (I am paraphrasing).  This is quite typical.  In fact, you would begin to believe, that with the research and all the knowledge that we now know about dementia people might be able to better cope or find ways to help the families with a loved one in this predicament.

Social withdrawal is one of the signs that a caregiver is experiencing stress.  Why would they withdraw?  Well, to be honest, it can be incredibly consuming to take care of, not only the household chores, but helping and working with someone who has no idea of what they or their carer is actually going through.  When people decide they’re going to be “paying their respects” and visit, those with a patient in the home could find this hopelessly stressful - now they need to make sure the house is clean, have refreshments, and “pretend” all is well - it’s just natural.  

When asked if the carer is free to do something, there may not be a right time - there may be no one or no service possible to provide a few hours of respite in order to slip away.  It can be quite difficult, and the guilt is overwhelming.  I know of a man whose wife is suffering from LBD and he tries to take her out to the movies at least twice a week, then they go for ice cream.  However, aside from her ability to be with him, he also needs to contend with her running out of the house - sometimes while he’s trying to bathe!  I’m sure there’s nothing more telling than an afflicted person trying to run down the street with an older man in a towel chasing her.  He can laugh about it, but the chuckles soon turn to tears - he’s so frustrated.  His children are trying their best to help him - and it’s been more lately, but still - the stress is tremendous.  

Many of those carers are also sleep deprived.  While they may not sleep in the same rooms, or bed, they awaken to the alarms, to the loved one performing acts (slamming doors with OCD behaviours, relieving themselves in improper places, hurting themselves in the dark, or a myriad of other activities that we can only imagine) that keep them awake, or that they need to help the patient to ensure safety and an ability to sleep, again.  

Many people state that there are many who say, “Let us know if there’s anything we can do!”  Well, that’s fine, but if the carer calls you and you put them off, what do your words mean?  How can you support them?   I’ve made a list of ideas that could actually make the carer happy that you came over!

1. Offer to help clean the house at no charge and do some shopping for them.
2. Locate a service/trusted friend to care for the patient while you go out to listen and to help them enjoy a bit of freedom.
3. Offer to care for the patient and help them have a massage as a gift - believe me, this might be the ultimate gift.
4. Come over with refreshments and listen.  Find out what they truly need/want.
5. Offer to drive to appointments both the carer and the patient.
6. Yard work?  Handyman chores?  Chances are there are projects that haven’t been addressed because of their situation.

In other words, find ways to support them that really count.  

Be a friend, not a ghost - there are enough in their lives at this point.  

Do NOT offer advice unless prompted, then be very diplomatic!

Below, I have placed the list of Rewards & Challenges from HelpGuide.com:

Caring for Someone with Alzheimer’s (or Another form of Dementia)
Challenges:	Rewards:
Overwhelming emotions as capabilities lessen	Bonds deepen through care, companionship, and service
Fatigue and exhaustion as caregiving demands increase	Problem solving and relationship skills grow through experience
Isolation and loneliness as independence disappears	New relationships form through education and support
Financial and work complications as costs rise and resources are challenged	Unexpected rewards develop through compassion and acceptance

I have also copied, from the same site, the 10 Signs of Caregiver Stress from the Alzheimer’s Association:

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

If you experience any of these signs of stress on a regular basis, make time to talk to your doctor.

1. Denial about the disease and its effect on the person who has been diagnosed. "I know Mom is going to get better."

2. Anger at the person with Alzheimer's, anger that no cure exists, or anger that people don't understand what's happening. "If he asks me that one more time I'll scream!"

3. Social withdrawal from friends and activities that once brought pleasure. "I don't care about getting together with the neighbors anymore."

4. Anxiety about the future. "What happens when he needs more care than I can provide?"

5. Depression that begins to break your spirit and affects your ability to cope. "I don't care anymore."

6. Exhaustion that makes it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks. "I'm too tired for this."

7. Sleeplessness caused by a never-ending list of concerns. "What if she wanders out of the house or falls and hurts herself?"

8. Irritability that leads to moodiness and triggers negative responses and actions. "Leave me alone!"

9. Lack of concentration that makes it difficult to perform familiar tasks. "I was so busy, I forgot we had an appointment."

10. Health problems that begin to take a mental and physical toll. "I can't remember the last time I felt good."

Source: Alzheimer's Association

So, please be patient with these people.  You might find yourself feeling uncomfortable, but you also might earn some wings if you reach out and find out how you might impact them in a positive way - that they need, rather than what you believe they need.

Listen - that’s the key.

And Life Goes On - OR The Week Ending 04/10/2016

This week was nothing spectacular, as Mom continued to eat little, enjoy her shakes, and arise early, then to bed at an early hour.  

Mom, brother Larry, her mother, her brother Peter, and Aunt Suzie

Monday, she ate very little, she arose early but went to bed soon after her shake and a tiny morsel of lunch. Getting up and into bed was simple, as Mom was helping the staff rather than laying there like a lump.

Tuesday, Noel, the hospice nurse came, and trained staff, using an unusually cooperative Mother as the guinea pig, on using the Hoyer lift.  Mom seemed to enjoy this.  She still didn’t eat much, though.

Mom age 20

Wednesday, Mom arose early and worked on her breakfast of French Toast!  She ate nearly all of it!  Of course, she took her time, so when Connie and Jean came to visit she still had some bites on her plate. They can tell you more:

Hi, Tony,

We signed in at 11:15 today to visit Norma.  There were three of us; Jean had invited her friend Joyce to come with us to meet Norma and to see where Norma lives.

Joyce, a retired nurse, is new to Portland, wants to find a place to live where she can stay if she requires help in time.  Seems a tour was not possible today, but Joyce filled out a request form to schedule a tour. Tracy, the tour person, will call her.

Norma was almost finished eating a full breakfast,with just a few pieces of French toast still on her plate. She had had two cups of coffee plus juice and whatever else was on the menu.   

Connie had brought the Wall Street Journal. Norma held it much of our time there, glanced a bit at it, but did not read aloud.  We think she read it after we left; she looked interested in the paper.

Jean showed Norma the pink nail polish she'd brought to do her nails. No comment but Jean did not expect one. Jean took one hand at a time, and painted the nails; she held perfectly still, giving time for the polish to dry.

She was more engaged than we've seen her in some time; as you said, it's probably because she had more nourishment in her.  At noon came soup--she accepted one bite--offered the rest to us.  Joyce and Connie said it smelled good--a creamy vegetable soup.

Elsa offered the lunch plate--pieces of chicken with noodles (?) and Norma said she did not care to have any.

So Elsa brought her a cookie to go with the protein drink.  She ate the cookie and about half the protein shake; we left while she still had some of that to drink.

Norma speech was quiet, as it's been lately, but she was part of our conversation at times.  Mostly she would have a thought, but the words did not always complete her thought.  She was pleasant all the time; never looked frustrated at not finishing a sentence. As always, we either said nothing or tried to give some kind of neutral answer if we did not know what she was trying to say. But she looked content, with no worries or problems.

We kissed her goodbye.

Thursday went as the days before, but not eating much of anything.

Friday was a repeat of Thursday.

Saturday, too, was a repeat of the previous days.  Mom sits quietly and does very little, sometimes speaking with some of the other ladies, but mostly keeping to herself.

Today, I found Mom eating pancakes.  She kept eating through our visit, and at one point stated she was quite full.  Finally!   She wasn’t much company, and didn’t really want to chat, so we sat there holding hands while she picked at the plate.  

Mom's graduation photo from St. Mary's Academy (1946)

Her world may seem vacant to us, but I’m not sure I am able to speak for her on that issue.  She’s not been eating, but her spirits are good, she’s being congenial, and no longer targeting her nemeses, which tells us she’s tuned out from the negativity she used to lug around.  This is good, but also, a sign her spirit is weaker.  

What comes this week?  No one knows for sure!

Risks of Lewy Body Dementia - Could You Be Susceptible?

Finding new and interesting topics isn’t all that simple unless you think about something and begin searching - then discovering there isn’t anything really there at all - so, you being searching for so many other topics and Voila!  Thar it blows!  

While I know that Mom’s greatest fear was finding that she would succumb to Alzheimer’s, it is slightly ironic that she suffers from another form - I suppose those who know our family are clicking their tongues thinking ‘That family just has to find something interesting and novel, don’t they!’  Well, I suppose we did.  

I recall Mom’s bout of perplextion when my uncle (now deceased) was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  She attempted to Pooh-pooh the thought, but I’m sure it frightened her, nonetheless, as well.  

A few years later, Mom would be diagnosed after suffering through and demonstrating behaviors that people noticed, but weren’t quite sure what was truly going on.  They probably didn’t want to ask, as Mom would put them off or even cease discourse with them rather than agree and listen - only those in her inner circle could say anything, and they did so with caution.

It was easy enough to believe Mom was simply growing older and she was presenting the signs associated with advanced aging.  Nope.  I recall spending time with her in Victoria in 2009 when she was tiring easily, shuffled her feet, and wasn’t really much herself.  She was tiring easily and was adamant in the Bengal Lounge, where we were going to dine, that her rental car membership card was the Entertainment card.  She admonished both the waiter and myself, as she truly believed (despite her reading the card over and over) it was what she stated.  We left as she decided she wouldn’t sup where they were being ridiculous.  

So, what caused the changes?  Were they present earlier?  How did dementia form?

These were some of the questions I was hoping to present some answers for, but alas, there isn’t a great deal of information, yet, on them.  

So, what are the basic conditions of being susceptible to LBD?  According to the Mayo Clinic they are:

1. Being Older than 60 (that’s Mom)
2. Being Male (not true for Mom, duh)
3. Having a family member with LBD (uh oh - that’s us.  Mom’s mother had Alzheimer’s which doesn’t present LBD as a risk factor, so …)

So, that  being said, and knowing there are those who lead healthy lifestyles and eat properly who develop the syndrome, there is still very little known about what the actual risks are (Lewy Body Dementia: Information for Patients, Families).

There is an interesting article in Forbes, which states that caregiver stress (which Mom had from dealing with our grandmother) and sustained stressors through middle-age could allow for an easier onset of the condition.   But, remember, the stress would need to be more chronic than just mild life stressors that most of us deal with in our lives.  

There are other articles and studies which push forth the same type of hypothesis, Psychosocial stress at work is associated with increased … from the NIH is another good example.  

9 Factors that Increase Your Risk of Developing Lewy Body …  at About Health states the following:

Until recently, the only known risk factor for developing Lewy body dementia was considered to be older age. Research has made some gains lately in sifting out what might increase the risk of developing Lewy body dementia. They include the following:

• Age:

As people age, they generally have a greater risk of developing Lewy body dementia. The typical age range for the development of Lewy body dementia is between 50 and 85, although it can occur outside those ages. In one recent study, researchers found that the peak age range for Lewy body dementia to develop is between 70-79.

• Not Smoking:

Interestingly, people with a history of smoking cigarettes have a lower risk of developing Lewy body dementia. However, the negative health effects of smoking are such that this is never recommended as a way to prevent Lewy body dementia.

• Low Education Levels:

More years of education are correlated with a reduced risk of Lewy body dementia.

• Depression and Anxiety:

A history of depression and anxiety increase the risk of developing Lewy body dementia.

• Less Caffeine Intake:

A history of higher caffeine consumption is associated with a lower risk of Lewy body dementia.

• Heredity:

About 10% of Lewy body dementia cases appear to be tied to heredity where the person inherits the disease from a parent. These familial cases of Lewy body dementia appear to occur often in younger people.

• Family History:

When someone has had Lewy body dementia or Parkinson's disease, his family members have a higher risk of developing Lewy body dementia.

• ADHD:

According to one study published in the European Journal of Neurology, almost half of the participants in the study had adult Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), compared to only 15% of those with Alzheimer's disease.

• Gender:

Men have a higher chance of developing Lewy body dementia than women do.  Approximately twice as many males as females develop Lewy body dementia.

In other words, from our experience, they really aren’t sure.  There are many factors that should have ruled Mom out, but guess what?!  Yup!  So, if I discover more on this, I’ll be sure to let you know!  

A Few Bites - OR The Week Ending 04/03/2016

Mom resting this morning after the "traumatic" chair change attempt

This was a week of highs and lows.  A week of opposites, I suppose.  I’ll let you read and you can decide for yourself.

Monday and Tuesday, Mom wasn’t getting out of bed.  She was quite comfortable and saw no reason - or rather was in her space and didn’t want to change it.  She ate little - about 20-30% of one meal, her shake, and then that was it.  

She was alert, charming, and very happy.  She simply didn’t wish to get up.  

Wednesday, she was given a bath in bed.  Yes, it has come to this.  It has become very difficult to manage to move her into the shower, and she really didn’t want to get up!  Also, Connie and Jean came to visit, and I’ll allow them to recount their tale:

Hi, Tony,

We signed in at 11:30 today.  Norma's door was open, so we went in and found her either asleep or just resting her eyes. Jean said, "Mrs. Hunt!  Mrs.Manning and Mrs.Mitchell are here to see you."  Eyes opened, a soft greeting given. From then until after 1 pm, when we left, we had her attention--most of the time. She was not interested in getting up, but when we asked about it, she said she could get up by herself--the unspoken message was that there was no need to ask the caregivers to help.

The Hoyer lift was in the bathroom, standing at attention, ready to be used. I remember from my mom's time in St. Joseph that the rule is: two people help when using a Hoyer lift; one is not safe.

Connie brought a brightly-colored catalog of books, some with beautiful bindings, told us about many of the authors she knew in that collection, knowing that Norma would recognize some of them. Surely Norma had read books by James Fenimore Cooper,one of which Connie is reading now. She marveled at the scope of Cooper's knowledge, as he wrote "Two Admirals" about seagoing life,and "The Deerslayer" about Indian life in early America.

Using cords for the blinds, Jean tied up the curtain on the right side.  Lovely day outside,with grape hyacinths in bloom. The garden looked inviting, and grass needed to be cut.

While Connie continued visiting with Norma, Jean went out to ask Danny how Norma was that day.  He said she'd been in bed all day, not interested in eating.  He said he and Rosa would use the lift to get her up after he finished cutting up chicken on residents' plates.

Elsa came in with eye drops, which Norma accepted without protest.

Change of plans: Nurse Beth came in, said she did not want Norma to get up. They would raise the head of the bed so Norma could drink the protein drink that you bring her.

Jennifer, the shower/bath lady, said she will give Norma a sponge bath, which she now accepts, at first, did not.

Norma did not speak much but listened as we spoke.  When she spoke about something, we saw a little smile.  We asked her to give us a big smile, and she flashed one of her famous fake smiles.  No lack of humor there.

When we realized Jennifer and  someone else (?) were ready to give Norma the sponge bath, we said our goodbyes, promising to be back "in a few days."  Seems sooner than a week, we think.

We gathered our things, almost out the door, when the gracious Norma said quietly, but clearly, "Thank you for your hospitality." We told each other we could not wait to tell Tony that.

It was another good visit.  Our friend is quieter with time but seems content with her life.  How many would envy that?

Mom having her shake but disregarding the other food - a common routine

Mom never did get up that day.  Nor the next.  But she did begin eating a little of her food - along with the shake.  It’s amazing how much energy she’s had on so little fuel, wouldn’t you agree?!

Friday, Mom was at the ready when they came in to wake her.  She helped them get her up, dressed and changed, and was out in the dining room quickly.  She was alert and perky.  She was able to eat about 30-40% of her meal and then began to slip into slumber.  

She spent the whole of Friday out with the rest of the residents, which should have stimulated her - but she’s in her own world, now, not paying much attention to her former nemesis (I state the former as this doesn’t seem to be an issue any longer), nor anyone else.  

Saturday, she was wanting to go out and eat early.  They got her up and ready, and then she went out, eating very little.  She did have her shake, but soon after she demanded to be put back to bed.  And there she remained until this morning.

Today, she arose before the day shift arrived.  She went out, nibbled on some breakfast, and then went to sleep.  That was how I found her this morning (I raced over before noon to catch her in her “perky” state, but was greeted with a sleeping beauty).  She wasn’t much for conversation and seemed so very weak.  I spoke with the staff and we decided to try to move her to the Geri chair so she could still be moved, but would also be comfortable enough to sleep.  You see, Mom hates the footplates on the wheelchair, and this makes it quite difficult to move her about (she keeps her feet planted on the floor and can’t lift them for easier mobility).  

We moved her into the bathroom where the lift was, as well as the handles.  She said she would like to move to the Geri chair, but wouldn’t give any help, nor even use the handles or the Hoyer.  So, I told her I would help lift her up and then we’d move her.  She gave me the “look”, which dared me to try.  

I reached in and told her to give me a big hug, which she stated was nothing she really cared to do, in her wee weak voice.  As I lifted her she pushed her face into my shoulder and bit down - not hard, but enough to signal she wasn’t having it.  So, I let go.  In retrospect, her bite signifies a loss of strength, insofar that it was really nothing, not even like a nip - just pressure.  A few weeks ago, she would have done damage, but no longer, it would seem.

And so, I tried to engage her in her room as I continued the visit with her in the wheelchair and the Geri chair behind us.  She decided it was time for sleep.  

I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her.  She responded, “I love you too!” In that small voice, she had.  

So, what does this mean?  I cannot begin to tell you or even guess.  Could she pop up tomorrow ravenous?  Yes.  Might she?  Who knows.  But the rallies are growing weaker and weaker.  Only God knows where we’ll be in the next week or two.

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