This week entered what Mom used to call, “The Bad Zone.” This was the week in which both her parents died, among other events-Mom believed to have been negative. For the most part, she’d be a little more uptight (if that was possible) for the duration of the 10th - 18th of April. I had believed something would occur to her, during this time, but it wasn’t with her.
Monday through Friday, Mom ate - but still sparsely; however there were times she’d eat nearly 50% of a meal, but then very little of anything else. She wasn’t very participatory, rather she preferred to “rest her eyes”.
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| Mom smiles from her slumbers |
She didn’t seem to want to do much of anything. However, as is typical, she was quite tickled by the visit of her friends, Connie, and Jean:
Hi, Tony,
We had a good long visit yesterday. Norma was finishing her lunch, with just a piece of cake left.
The coffee cup was empty; no interest in a refill.
She looked up at us with interest and greeted us. Other ladies were finishing their meals, and Norma just did not pay attention to them. She had a good combo on, the purple and black striped shirt with the purple-edged light jacket, and gray pants. We remarked on her pretty, wavy hair--probably just washed. As usual, we spoke of the weather, and of the good old days when we played Scrabble in the gazebo. We never see anyone in "our" gazebo; maybe warmer weather will change that.
Jean had brought a small peeled orange for each of us,and separated one in front of Norma. During our time there she did eat all of it, even though she did not seem interested. But we realize she probably does not exclaim at like or dislike for many foods these days. Her drink looked different; was there pistachio ice cream mixed in? She drinks half of it during our visit, with no interest in more.
Connie told us about a birthday party at her house for 11-year-old grandson.
Norma usually responds to what we say. Her voice is so quiet now; we listen carefully. Such a loud cry (pun, yes) from her usual strong voice. But she does not miss a thing if we say something that deserves to be corrected. Jean tried, "I did really good with it," and she said gently, "well." No lecture, just a motherly correction.
Later, Jean was telling my friends that she was worried about my sister, Kathleen,who seems to have sleep apenea. (Another test.) The teacher said quietly, "apnea." Obviously, she's paying attention to what we say.
Dorothy (another resident) was at the table with us, carrying her lifelike baby with such care and affection that we all (two of us) joined her with asking about Baby, was she asleep,etc. When Dorothy left us, she carefully kissed each of us on the forehead or cheek--little baby kisses. Norma did not react to the kisses. How gentle she has become! Connie and Jean both thanked Dorothy. We were happy for her, with her little one to care for.
Morina came in from North Cottage, sat a while with us.
Noelle came in and we visited with her, as she asked Norma how she was. We don't remember Norma's responses, except that she did not say she'd had back pain lately. We told her she had not complained of it during our visit.
We said it was time for us to leave. We left Noelle with Norma.
The times they are a’changing.
God bless,
Jean
While it is true, that Mom still has many mental capabilities they are still fading into the nether regions.
Saturday, Mom stayed in bed and ate nary a bite, but for her shake, which she savors.
Sunday, Mom, again, was in bed as I came in. She was sound asleep. I wasn’t able to rouse her readily, so I went and checked on her records.
This morning, she had had some juice, her meds, and that was it. She wasn’t hungry. When she awoke, she told me she was quite happy in bed, and couldn’t think of why she should be up. I asked if she was that sleepy, and she replied, “I’m not asleep, you are!” I had to chuckle.
I was not able to tell her that her second son, Tom, had passed away the night before. It was a shock. However, there would be no purpose in delivering the news to her, but to upset her, and even then she mightn’t remember. Better to allow him to surprise her when she walks through those pearly gates and have him stand there, smiling, reach out to her and kiss her while welcoming her. He would like to be able to do that - he enjoyed surprising her that way.
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| My brother, Tom, circa 1961/2 |
So, as she continues on her path, eating less and less (who knows? Tomorrow she could pull one of her rebounds and begin devouring anything in sight!) and sleeping more and more, we mourn the loss of our brother, her son, and we tend to her needs.
God Bless.
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