After exploring and appreciating Ms. Ross’ blog and website, Going Gentle Into That Good Night, I discovered she had written not one, but two books on Lewy Body Dementia. One is a sort of primer that will be reviewed later, and the other is her account of caregiving for her mother who was afflicted with LBD.
Her account details the struggles of keeping her mother at home while attempting to understand the disease. There is a bond between them that is very sweet, and it is strained at times, but she manages to maintain an environment of comfort and joy for her mother.
She discusses her mother having experienced TIA’s, which are never defined. TIA’s are Transient Ischemic Attacks which are events, sometimes called a mini-stroke with symptoms lasting less than 24 hours. This is something many dementia patients face, I discovered in further reading, and it would have been a kindness to have had a definition so I wasn’t struggling to find the meaning on my own.
That aside, I found myself admiring the courage of Ms. Ross, and also her relationship with her mother. She has profound strength! This meant finding the right doctors, firing the ones who didn’t meet the needs at the time, and ensuring the plans were on target for her mother’s care.
I understood this dilemma of finding the right doctors. I understood the struggle for finding out what was truly happening. I also empathized with the guilt associated in dealing with one who used to be so vital becoming so helpless and a shell of what they used to be.
I know I would not be able to accomplish what Ms. Ross did. I could not have kept my mother at home. This was another element at which I marveled. Her mother contrasts mine. Mine would need to be watched constantly, and she would be making demands on a continual basis. I haven’t the source of income that the author seems to have and must work to survive, and my mental health would be in question in no time (my mother is no saintly woman!).
I also understand Ms. Ross’ philosophy - that your parents sacrificed for you while you were young, so should you for their sake. I believe that as well. However, from my viewpoint (which does differ from hers) my mother is better off with others, and surrounded by others to keep her safe, stimulated, and healthy, rather than be kept at home where there isn’t anyone else there for her but myself and the occasional care-worker. It’s a conundrum, for sure.
Through the experiences of Lewy Body Dementia, TIA’s and Vascular Dementia, Alzheimer’s and Congestive Heart Failure, the author learns a great deal and imparts her learning to the reader.
This is a very good book to read for those who are experiencing many of the same questions and issues, as well as those who have an interest as to what caregiving truly entails.
The title of her book and website does come from the Dylan Thomas poem, which has always been one of my favorites, but it plays on the opposite meaning - which is appropriate in this case. I have provided the poem for your reading, below:
Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From The Poems of Dylan Thomas, published by New Directions. Copyright © 1952, 1953 Dylan Thomas.
Going Gentle Into That Good Night - Sandra Ross. Amazon Digital Services. 2013.
This title is available in both Kindle and Paperback.
Available at:
No comments:
Post a Comment