Book Review: My Mother, My Son: a true story of love, determination, and memories...lost by Dwayne J. Clark

I had heard rumors that Dwayne Clark had done well for himself.  He and I didn't really know each other in high school, even though it was a very small class.  One of our classmates had told me to look him up online, which I did.  It was quite a surprise to see he'd written a book about his mother and their journey through dementia.

I was somewhat ambivalent about beginning the story but found myself entranced.  The style and format of the tale are wonderful.   He writes well, and the flashing back and forth from the present to his mother's history (as well as his) is delightful.

The story isn't only about dealing with dementia (in this case it's Alzheimer's) but about real people leading real lives.  The history of his mother and himself creates a relationship between the reader and the characters that makes the results more personal - it's not just about the disease but remembering that the patients were people who have histories, families, quirks, and the lot.

The decision to bounce back and forth between decades helps to enhance this, but it also runs into a danger of breaking apart that kinship developed by telling such a tale - perhaps it has to deal with making the book a tearjerker, or that being able to see all the facets together make the elements of the biography impact the reader with more empathy and knowledge.

Dwayne's mom begins her journey in India, the daughter of a British Railroad administrator.  She lives the life of privilege, attending boarding schools, having servants, and enjoying an enchanted childhood.  She enlists in the army during World War II and meets Jack Clark, the father of her four children, who abandons them and leaves Colleen to manage on her own with her young son, Dwayne.

The story speaks to those who have a relationship with their parent(s) and reminisce about those early days when memory and function were all sublime;  nary a care in the world.  Then the onslaught of dementia occurs and the trauma entailed in that adventure, as well.

I must hand it to Mr. Clark.  This book made me harken to the early days with my parents and grandparents, remembering how both grandmother and mother were before they were diagnosed- grandmother with Alzheimer's (and my mother caring for her at home) and Mom with Lewy Body Dementia (currently).

I understand his philosophies and commend him for passing on great advice and philosophies that can be used for nearly everyone.  In fact, he also has a chapter devoted to the lessons he learned in his journey, with resources and advice.

I do recommend this book, not only as a diversion from dealing with the disease of dementia but also as a springboard to remembering loved ones before they were afflicted.  This also helps reinforce lessons learned and helps understand what may have been overlooked.

The proceeds from this book go to the Potato Soup Foundation, which helps those in the Aegis Care Community with emergency funding for medical, funeral or other needs.

I hand it to Mr. Clark.  He has much to be proud of.

My Mother, My Son: a true story of love, determination, and memories...lost.  Dwayne J. Clark.  2012.  294 pp.