The Week Ending 09/27/2015

Could it be the Harvest Moon and the Eclipse?  Could it be just the odd way that LBD conducts itself?  It’s difficult to know.  This week proved to be like most others - somewhat uneventful, and yet, there were some noticeable nuances that occurred. 

On Monday, Mom ate well, she was active in her conversations, but she refused to participate in anything else. 

Tuesday brought the hospice nurse, Jennifer, who had been advised by Leddy as to how to get Mom to respond and listen to her when taking her in for her bath.  She’s direct and doesn’t allow Mom to engage her.  Perfect! 
Mom arose late but ate breakfast and then dabbled in her other meals - so all-in-all, she ate two meals, which is par for the course.   Mom still did a little conversation exercise, but not for very long. 
Her massage therapist came by twice to engage Mom, but Mother was too engaged in listening to other conversations and dabbling with her food to care - hence, Alli, the therapist, left and called to let me know that she would be glad as a reference, but wasn’t going to make any further attempts as Mom hadn’t been interested for the past 3 weeks.

My cousin (whose mother is in another facility in Portland with LBD) called me in the morning to ask if it would be okay to meet her, her mother, cousin Janet, and Aunt Keiko (my late uncle’s widow) at Janet’s in the early afternoon.  I had to remind her that Mom couldn’t go out anymore, and that I would have needed at least a day’s notice for such an event, anyhow.  This was difficult as I know Mom would love to see Keiko and Alice (my cousin’s mom), but it just wouldn’t have been feasible with my work.

Wednesday, Mom arose rather late and was visited upon by her RLC, Connie & Jean.  Following is their experience: 

Dear Tony,

We arrived at St. A's a bit before noon.  Norma was lying on her bed, dressed, no shoes yet.

Noelle the nurse was there, after checking her blood pressure and whatever else she checks.   She said everything was in good order and left after a few minutes.

Norma seemed glad to see us, and she looked good. Was wearing that beautiful white sweater and beige/tan slacks.  She sat up so I could put on her shoes and those DIRTY once-white sox.

I offered to get some clean sox from her dresser, but "Those aren't dirty!" was her protest. The shoes went on, with Norma and Jean working together on that.

We chatted along with Norma; she was involved with our conversation, adding thoughtful words, phrases that started out with an idea that could not be completed.  At one point, when this happened, she said quietly, "I'm goofy."  But it was stated as fact, no anger or frustration evident. We just continue when that happens; always something to talk about.

A quick trip to the bathroom for Norma, then we all went to the great room. I urged the others to hustle, saying, "Our table is empty now." That's the table closest to her room.

Amparo greeted us joyfully; she always does. She brought soup for Norma and Connie; Jean was not interested. But the friends ate all of theirs.  We all had apple juice.

Norma's lunch was soup, half a toasted cheese sandwich, few slices of apples, about a dozen big grapes.  She insisted that Connie and I share the grapes, even after Jean told they are full of Vitamin C, good for her. She ate her lunch readily, and we ALL had berry pie for dessert.
Norma asked if we take off the heavy crust at one end of the pie.  Yes, we do. We  took those off, and she offered Jean hers, in case she wanted to eat any pie filling left on it. Regretfully, Jean said No, thanks.
(When she has a drink she does not care to finish, she says to  Connie and Jean in turn, "You drink it." )

It was a comfortable, no-problem visit, just old friends chatting about anything and everything we think of.  Norma's comments, not often completed, are at times thoughts on how someone "should/should not do something,"  and observations on people's motives and habits. She's observant and sometimes makes moral judgments.  (Don't we all?)

Norma mentioned that Pat McEntee was not "doing well."  No, he's not, did not recognize me again today.  Jean commented that she’d heard Pat has a heart condition.  Of course, your mom knows it's more than that; she notices, but we went on to another subject.

We were so comfortable sitting there, looking out at the garden, but none of us had the ambition to actually step outside to enjoy the sights and air.  It was suggested but did not press.

Jennifer, the CNA who comes twice a week, stopped for a few minutes' visit. We met her when she first came to see Norma--in the garden.

After 2 pm we said it was time for us to leave.  "I'll go with you."  Jean told her we can plan ahead
for some other time (was that not wise?) but today Jean had visitors coming, and lots to do after that.  Jean quickly kissed her forehead and walked to the exit.  jean motioned to Connie to follow; had forgotten her walker was in Norma's room. But she got moving and came soon after her buddy.

We are treated like royalty by the caregivers, which we appreciate.  Norma was engaged (is that the word?) during our whole visit. 

Thursday, Mom had a day of breakfast and lunch but no dinner.  She did participate in the singing exercise and the conversation, as well, but nothing else. 

Friday, Mom ate breakfast and lunch.  She participated in bowling!  Now, go figure that one!  Yes, they have something set up for the residents to do a bowling activity that they all enjoy.  Later, Morina and Mom engaged in a nice conversation.

Saturday, Mom ate breakfast and dinner.  She arose so late that there was no reason for her to be hungry for lunch. 

However, when she decided to get up (long after Leddy had come in and offered to help her but was refused) she came out into the dining room in her underwear demanding Leddy!  Other staff offered to help, but Mom refused.  Then Leddy came in and ordered Mom to her room, which she gladly obeyed.  Thank goodness - I’d hate to think my mother was one of those people!

Later that day, she participated in BINGO!  She truly enjoyed that.

Sunday, her arousal was much the same as Saturday.  Yes, she decided to tantalize the other residents in her undergarb.  Same scenario.  Gack! 

She ate a good breakfast and was in a pensive mood. 

I arrived and she looked at me.

“What are you doing here?”
“I came to visit you.”
“Oh?  Why?”
“Don’t you want visitors?”
“Suit yourself.  You’re a big boy.”

From there, we talked about many things - I’m not sure we were on the same wave-length, but we covered a lot of bases. 

At one point, I pulled out my camera and asked her to smile for me.  She stared at me as I encouraged her to smile.  Finally, she stated, flatly, “No!”  and then went about reading her paper.

I asked her about BINGO and she told me I was being inappropriate and that this was a very personal question.   Not sure about that….

She opened her paper and began to read - erratically, as she was more engaged in the conversation at the table next to ours (Pat and Lucille’s children had come by and were conversing with their parents). 

The lead story was one of a man who had a sad climbing experience in the Himalayas, so I asked Mom if she had seen the mountain range while in Tibet.  “Yes, but they were at a distance, and they looked big.” 

She did begin to tell me that she had seen many people last night at a dinner that was about autism.  I had no inkling as to where that came from until I saw the story on the next page of the paper - it had to do with autism.   Apparently, though, many of us were there and she stayed up quite late which was why she was so tired. 

Eventually, I gave her a kiss (she asked to leave with me) and I left.  My brother followed my visit with one within minutes of my departure.  So, she had a stimulating morning. 

With him, she chatted and they went to the garden after she finished her paper. 

All in all, it would seem Mom is doing fine.  She has good days and bad ones.  I prefer the good at this point.    Hospice is helping a great deal, and, perhaps, this is one reason she is "shining" at this time - who knows?  I know the bad will come in a flash, so it’s important to encourage and delight in these - albeit they are not incredible - as they come.