Was it a strange week? No, not really. Did Mom crash? No. Did she eat? Why, yes, indeed - she ate nearly every meal for the past week. Was she active? Verbally - yes. In fact, the log noted that she was involved in conversation quite frequently during the week; Physically? Nope - probably less than one full hour for the duration.
Today, Mom was an odd duck. Ledi explained to me that she was in a very good mood. I found her in the television viewing area just sitting and resting her eyes. She was gladdened to see me and expressed this. We began a chat as we would have normally. All seemed well until I asked her where her watch was. That began the downturn of the topic. Apparently it was a trap. She spoke in nonsequiturs of the trap that was set, and the watch was the root of it all. I found this mildly amusing.
Next, she told me her mother was living in the basement but hadn’t seen her yet, today. She inquired about whether or not I’d seen her. Nope - she was off gallivanting around town with her friends. “That sounds like her,” Mom replied.
“Call Jean and have her come over.”
“Now?”
“Yes, now.”
“Well, she can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Today her children come by for visits and needing to drive over wouldn’t be very relaxing for her.”
“Well, so you say.”
And so I did.
We continued to chat about this and that - I was surprised at how well Mom was recalling some things as well as speaking clearly and lucidly - her random spits of sentences had nearly vanished!
She didn’t want lunch, as she stated she’d already eaten it. Then Reina heard mentioning it, so Mom said we needed to go as she was hungry. Wow.
We sat at the table drinking coffee and talking about the colored leaves on the trees in the garden. Then her table buddy, Rosemary, came to sit down.
“You’re not going to let me drink out of your coffee cup?” Rosemary said with a twinkle in her eye.
“No, there’s nothing there, but I could get you a cup, if you’d like,” I replied.
Mom was indignant. How rude could I possibly be! There was no shame in what I had just said. Well, I guess not…
Then, Mom saw her arch nemesis at another table. “That woman is a bi+++!” she said contemptuously. I was shocked, but not overly so. Old Mom was back - even for a few seconds. She continued to stare at the woman making remarks about her “ugliness” and “mean face”. Honestly, they have nothing to do with each other - that episode was over and done eons ago.
Ledi told me about something that had happened two weeks ago, a day or two after Mom had been coming out of her room in her undies but had been easily taken back to get dressed. One day she came out wearing her underwear and nothing else - she sat at the table for breakfast. Ledi was shocked! She ran over and said, “Norma! You need to go back to your room and let me dress you! You can’t be like this out here!”
“I’m fine,” Mom retorted. “I don’t like you. Leave me alone!”
“No, Norma. You need to be dressed. Let me take you.”
“No. I don’t like you and I won’t go with you!”
Then Morina came out and had nearly the same conversation with her. Mom looked at Morina and told her she was mean and that she would go with Ledi to be dressed. And off they went.
When Ledi tried to put Mom’s pants on, Mom grew angry. Then Morina came in to check, and Mom looked at her and said, “I like her. She can help me do this. You go away, you nasty person!” So, Morina helped her finish dressing. After that, Mom was happy and content and didn’t recall anything.
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| Mom and Ledi share a moment |
Mom has been bathing, thanks to Jennifer from Hospice. Her clothes look good and clean, and she seems to be in radiant health.
But that was only for my visit. Before I saw her, Ledi told me Mom was mumbling and not really coherent when she sat down to visit with her earlier. Not sure what that was about...but then LBD tends to be quite unpredictable!
And, we can also compare this with the visit of Connie and Jean earlier in the week:
Connie knocked on Norma's door just after noon. When she opened the door, she looked as if she had been asleep. But as usual, she welcomed us in, and we all sat down. Norma had her big chair, Connie had her walker seat, and Jean learned to be more definite in her chair placement.
Near the bathroom door was vetoed, as was the closet/sink area. Then Jean placed the folding chair to the left of Norma's chair, despite her protests. Lesson learned: ignore negative comments and do what she wants to do. We know you learned that long ago.
Connie gave Norma the booklet of new postage stamps, many colorful pictures of the latest issues. Norma paged through it, as the two exchanged comments on the pictures. Norma was wearing coordinated beige shirt and pants. Her hair always looks good, and we often tell her that. Her Skechers were in the little cupboard to the right of the sink. She took them out, one at a time and we admired them; they went back into the cupboard.
We encouraged Norma to go to the community room for lunch, but she was not interested. (Two hours later she was ready and ate all her meal.) Norma brought out her large, leather (?) purse to take with her; we said it would not be needed. She seemed intent on taking it with her but then did not take it.
Finally we three sat at "our" table, the one nearest Norma's room. Jean asked her if Jennifer from Providence had been there lately; no memory of that. And even mentions of her favorites, Lettie, and Morina, brought no recognition. Bingo? We did not ask, as it would have been lost in the sands of time (24 hours or so). But many of the old memories are there, and we are thankful that we can share those, even if it's just a positive comment. We enjoy sharing in having Tom and Lucile still alive in Norma's mind. We knew them, so can add to our appreciation for them--or anything else that fits the occasion.
Jean counted four times Norma expressed a whole sentence or thought; Connie thought it was many more times. She is probably more observant than Jean. All our conversations were pleasant, and it was, as always, a truly enjoyable visit. We all had coffee and were offered food, as Norma finally had her lunch. We each tell of our adventures, and Norma seems interested, remarking on this or that.
But we saw a real decline since our last visit two weeks earlier. Even so, her real Norma attitudes and beliefs are there in phrases, if not complete sentences. Her personality is there. She's a strong lady.
We have learned to give Norma a quick kiss and maybe a hug, and depart post haste. Connie got her walker from Norma's room, and we left her in good spirits.
So, you can see, Mom is still somewhat vibrant - especially in her opinions and views, but also in her appreciation for her friends.
It’s good to know that she’s plodding along well, now. As I’ve stated before, when the next shoe falls we’ll be able to look back on all this and smile.
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