Mom at her friend, Nadya’s, a couple of years before her diagnosis
What can I say? This was a week like most? But it wasn’t. There are some changes - some subtle, some a bit more apparent. Mom still moves along, but if the past two days present themselves as a new normal, then it would be difficult to predict what’s next.
This week must have been a good one. She seemed pleased to see me this morning. She had just arisen (around 1130) and told me she would have slept in but certain people kept bothering her (Leddy told me she just checked on her a couple of times, but Mom didn’t like that; she gave Mom her meds and asked her about breakfast - that’s all).
Last Sunday, my cousin, Chris came to visit Mom. His father (our uncle) had passed over a year and a half ago from Parkinson’s. He told me they had a pleasant visit (but I still need to contact him for more details, as of this writing). My brother, too, came to see her and they had a rather normal visit.
During the week, Mom did not participate in anything. She did not want to do any of the activities presented to her. Rather, she followed Leddy around and rebuked anyone who tried to refocus her (including Leddy!).
Morina and Jennifer were able to get her to shower (with help, of course), and Mom was pleased. The photo demonstrates how Mom looks before Morina fluffs her hair.
Wednesday brought Connie and Jean. Here is their report:
We signed in at St. Anthony's just after 12 noon, after calling for help with the door that would not unlock. Elsa came and fixed it. It had not been closed all the way, so locked, but did not respond to using the code.
Norma was sitting alone at her usual table, reading The Oregonian. She had the entire paper, which is not always the case. (Or maybe she has it at first, but not when we arrive.) Norma was wearing beige pants and the warm maroon shirt. Her hair looked nice; Morina said she fluffs it up after Mom's shower. That shirt shows every little "pill" and bits of white specks.
Morina showed us the after-shower picture and she sent it to Jean’s phone, too.
Connie set her walker in Norma's room, which was not locked. The three of us had read Pat McEntee's obituary already. Lucille was seated at a nearby table, and Connie and Jean each hugged her. One of the workers said she did not think Lucille registered what had happened, but we know she has to know or sense the huge change in her own life.
Connie brought a copy of the Weekly Standard and showed Norma Joseph Bottum's article on Classical England. She also brought Norma a pretty net bag, holding a handmade wooden rosary and prayer booklets. She offered to set it atop Norma's dresser, but Norma wanted to keep it with her.
A confused resident stopped by twice to chat, but Norma suggested she sit "over there on that couch," or do something else. The same lady usually speaks to us, but we do not know what she's trying to say. She leaves when it is "suggested."
Jean suggested going out to the garden. Norma said,"Okay," and we wondered about the temperature.Jean went outside, and realized it was not really that warm, and she would have had to get Connie's coat from the car. We continued our visiting, and noticed Dr. Bunker apparently touring a young couple--probably
checking out St. Anthony's for a potential resident. Dr.B. cheerily said to Norma, "You have visitors!"
Jean answered, "Yes, it's Wednesday."
We actually stayed there, just chatting, for two hours. Norma was pleased to see us and content all of our time with her. She had many interesting thoughts to share, interesting phrases which rarely got to home base. But we could see she was enjoying having us there, and we knew the wheels were turning in her mind. Connie and Norma had coffee; it's nice to know we can just help ourselves, and can use the microwave anytime.
It was almost 2:30, and as Jean looked at her watch and said, "Connie, we must leave soon. I have a 3:30 doctor appointment." (It was a lie, but Connie said it was okay in that case. Is that what you call Situational Ethics?)
We retrieved Connie's walker from Norma's room, and we said our goodbyes. Norma gathered up Connie's gift and was ready to go with us. "Can't you stay for lunch or dinner?" she asked. Jean hugged her and told her we will make a plan to do that--but it would not work today. We headed for the door and did not look back.
On the way home, We knew it had been a pleasant time for all three of us, and with Norma engaged all that time. And that counts for a lot.
During the majority of the week, Mom ate regularly - and all her meals. This is quite good. However, yesterday and today she began skipping breakfast. She is complaining of her sciatica, although they do give her pain medication for this. She is, as stated earlier, refusing to exercise or do any activity - even though they explain it will help reduce the pain (I do suppose that her following Leddy around - possibly Morina, as well - might qualify as getting some walking in, though…). Today, when I mentioned that Morina could help her she spat out a flat, “NO!”
Also, it would seem that she has been babbling a great deal more of late. She just begins speaking about nothing and there is no connection to much of anything - this according to her workers who are there much more than am I.
So, today, I sat with her and we chatted - mostly coherently with a few alterations. I showed her some sweaters, I imagined she’d like, in the adverts. She told me she wouldn’t be able to know unless she saw it and wore it. That’s normal. When I told her what I’d done around the house yesterday, she inquired if I had done that at St. A’s. I told her that I had done it at my home but not at St. A’s. She thought that inconsiderate. That’s normal.
She ate her lunch while glowering across the room at her arch enemy whose family had just left. She mumbled a few unpleasantries about her and when I asked if she could focus on something a little more positive she told me to mind my own business. That’s normal.
I then explained I needed to leave and do some shopping. We had a short chat about that, and when I got up she asked where I was going. We revisited the earlier conversation we’d just had. That’s not normal.
Then, she did something out of the ordinary. She told me to lean in so she could tell me something. She reprimanded me and told me to never put her in a situation where she would get wet! This was not normal, nor did I have a clue as to what she was referring - perhaps the shower? I assured her I wouldn’t.
I then kissed her on her pate and left. A good visit. The question now is: What will the coming week(s) bring?
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