The Mom is changing - not necessarily for the better, but also not really for the worse - just changing. Let me tell you about it.
Monday, Mom has a typical day and participates with Morina.
Tuesday, Mom punches two administrators - one in the morning and another at night - in the face. I’d heard about the one - but not much, but not the other.
Wednesday, Mom punches a resident.
While many find boxing a form of relaxation, this was more a reaction of frustration and insecurity.
Thursday, I spoke at length with Noelle, Mom’s hospice nurse. I remarked that the staff was looking to get a sample to test Mom for a UTI (and I’d also wished them luck on that) as they wanted to know if this was the cause for her sudden change in behavior. (Today, when Mary, one administrator who was the victim of Mom’s fist, came by to deliver Communion she stated this might solve the issue. We aren’t sure.) We also began looking into giving Mom Methadone for her pain - which would be longer lasting and more effective than the Vicodin, and wouldn’t give her ups and downs as it wore off (as it stays in the system longer) and would be administered but twice daily. We added Depakote to the list, as well, to see if this would help with agitation. The last item on the list was to add Lorazepam (what Mom used to call her “Happy Pills”) to pre-medicate Mom for her showers - making it easier for them to usher her into the stall and clean her up.
Friday, I went in to visit with Mom, hoping to catch the bathing aide from hospice, as Mom has been fighting the staff and being an unwilling participant, no matter how hard they try. I needed to see it for myself (no, I wasn’t present when they washed her, but I saw how she tried to get away).
I brought in a puzzle for us to complete together. We began with Morina, who is an expert, and Mom held a piece or two, trying to fit them in occasionally, but wasn’t successful. She refused to pair the picture on the box with the puzzle. “This is nothing like that!” she stated.
Later, Noelle arrived and she and Mom had a pleasant conversation while we continued on the puzzle. She took Mom’s vitals and they talked about life, family, as well as other things that people chat about - Mom not really making a great deal of sense, but enough to make it enjoyable.
Jean phoned to tell us the RLC wouldn’t be coming today as her medications were making her woozy, therefore it was unsafe for her to drive. I put Mom on and they had a quick chat. My brother also phoned and he had a quick conversation with Mom, as well.
Mom kept looking at her room wondering why her name was on the door. Then she wondered who the pictures in the window next to her door were of. I explained it to her, but she denied that any of those pictures were of her or her family. “You are mistaken.”
After the bath aide arrived, Mom refused to look up at her, even though both Noelle and I were speaking with her. Finally Mom arose, “We need to get going. I have things to do!” I nodded that this was the best time for them to snaggle her into the shower. “Let’s get your purse from your room, first,” I said. She refused to help me look for it - probably because the aide was in her room and she was on high alert.
Finally, I took the aide out, and Morina was telling Mom they were going to change her sweater as it was quite filthy (it had some smeared food on the shoulder). Mom agreed as we left, and we hid around the corner from the room. Morina later poked her head out and signaled for the aide to re-enter.
I was ready for some screaming and stomping, but it never came. Noelle and I picked up the pieces of the puzzle and discussed more hospice issues for Mom, dealing with sickness and end-of-life planning.
I left feeling rather elated that Mom had had such a good, solid morning, and that she was participating in her activities once more.
Saturday, Mom refused to take her meds, but Leddy, being the magical person she is, was finally able to convince her to take them. Soon after, Mom was up, out, and eating breakfast, then participating in activities in a calm, reasonable manner. The meds seemed to be working!
Sunday, Mom was up, accepting her meds, and in a very good mood. She ate breakfast, read her paper, and then toddled off to her room where I found her in repose.
She had the lights off and was in a state of confusion. I was told that earlier she seemed rather “together” and this was very much the opposite. She explained to me that the people on the other side of the door were not good; that one of the girls went into a group of men and began doing things quite sexual in nature. I stopped her there. Then she began speaking in words and gibberish, not making much sense.
I asked if I could take her photo and she agreed, as well as allowing me to turn on the lights and put on some soft music. Once the photo was snapped, she wanted the lights off. She stated she wanted to take a nap, but that I needed to remain for her to chat with.
After a few minutes, she demanded her nice wool jacket so she could drive herself to Jean’s house. We conversed about Jean, her learning that Jean had been sick, and that the staff needed her to help them get clues as to whether or not she, herself, might be dealing with an infection. She snarled at the thought of providing them with a sample, so I quit.
I spoke of her activities of late, but she didn’t give any response that was intelligible - but it seemed as though she recalled small bits but not the rest - and when I asked how much of the jigsaw she was able to do she began speaking, once again, of the “incident” of the staff.
I am hoping they are able to obtain a sample, just for peace of mind, so that we can know if this confusion is related to a UTI or if it is her disease. The Depakote and the Methadone seem to be doing their job in keeping her stable in mood and out of pain, but I’ve not seen her this confused before; the sample will provide us more vital information. But, how do you obtain a sample from someone who will use the “hat” in the toilet, then pick it up and dump it? And, since she has such strong issues surrounding privacy, there’s really no method I’m aware of to obtain one otherwise….<sigh>
So, while we may be facing a slide down, we might also be facing something reversible for the time being. If we can’t get the sample, then the spectrum drugs will be applied and we will be able to see if they work or not. Perhaps this week I will contact her physician to see what her thoughts might be, as well. Oh, fie! fie! fie!
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