You never know which direction life will take you - I’m sure someone has said that in fact more people than I can count on all my digits.
These past two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, which is why I took a bit of a break from writing during the week - I just had to have some down time.
So, let’s break it down for those of you who haven’t been up-to-date.
A week and a half ago, we had Last Rites said for Mom. It was almost certain we were heading for the end of life, but as it seems to be with this ailment (Lewy Body Dementia) we were wrong!! Mom bounced back, more alert and alive than we’d seen in months!
Some begin to claim it’s the medications - they’d been discontinued that week, but they were brought back in by the end of the week, as she was going strong! But the reaction we had thought she’d had wasn’t present - so, it’s doubtful it was them.
The differences, though, are that she’s not eating much; to tell the truth, she’s eating less and less every day - but she’s ingesting juice, coffee, and water. They’ve not been able to weigh her (she refuses to cooperate), but her clothes are growing baggy, her pants are too big, and she has definitely slimmed.
Sunday last, my brother from Vashon came to visit. He stated she seemed alert. He stated she seemed more cognizant and alert than he’d seen in the past months. She was recognizing his wife, and also was actively participating in the conversation with relevant comments. We’ve not seen this for some time!
The redness in her eyes from this photo is where the edema fluids deposited themselves that week.
Monday, Mom arose rather late. She was eating minimally - about 10-20% of two meals, and sometimes her snacks. She participated in activities and was quite cheery!
Tuesday, the same. She arose late, ate a little breakfast, some dinner, and a bit of snack - but still only about 10% of each.
Wednesday, She arose late, but in came Jean and Connie:
Hi, Tony,
When I arrived just after 11 am,
Norma was sitting at a table in her usual place, with a muffin and half a cup of coffee on the table.
She perked up when she saw me and I spoke to her. I told her I had brought polish remover and a pink polish for her nails. I sat next to her and took her left hand, remarking on how nice she looked with her beige top and nice hair. I talked quietly, and showed her the cotton I would use to wipe off the old polish, red with sparkles, which was on about half her nails.
She replied to some of my questions or comments, not always with appropriate thoughts, but always spoken pleasantly. She cooperated with my moving her hands to suit my "work."
Three times Norma bent over, obviously in pain, with hand on her breast. I asked if it hurt, and she said Yes.This did not happen when Connie was there.
Connie and Joe Manning came in after a while.
Joe greeted Norma, and we three chatted for a few minutes. He asked if I would take his mother home. I answered No, she could walk. Somewhere during the earlier part of our visit Norma had nibbled half of the muffin. A caregiver brought her fresh coffee.
I saw the four envelopes on Norma's dresser: one from Kathleen, one from her friend Philis and two from Nadya. With Norma's permission I opened Kathleen's, she read the handwritten note aloud--perfectly--and we all admired the beautiful card. Nadya's card with lovely "bumpy" flowers had a handwritten note, which Norma read perfectly. She wanted to save the others for later and stood the two opened cards on the table in front of her.
Norma said it was okay if I put the four cards back on her dresser.
Lunch was served. Vegetable soup. No interest, but she did accept the two tiny bites I brought to her mouth. Nothing else looked good to her apparently, but she ate the small bit of pudding Iofina brought her. When I saw lunch was a lost cause, I asked one of the ladies to bring her more of that pudding. When it was offered she ate most of the contents of the full dessert cup. But the apple juice was barely touched. She did say,"The apple juice tastes kind of bitter."
"I have to go to the bathroom," Norma said quietly, but with no sign of urgency. Iofina said she would get help for that. We went on chatting and left soon after that. I had seen no dropping off, just a calm demeanor with her few comments. It was a good visit for all of us, I believe.
This was very cheering, considering we thought we’d be in another state of being at this time!
Thursday, she participated in activities but still was eating less and less.
Friday was much the same.
Saturday, Mom awoke late, had a nibble of lunch, and began refusing her yogurt (which she takes with her meds), which is odd. She was still taking part in the activities and was not dopey in any way.
Sunday, she arose late. When I came to see her, she had her lunch before her but wasn’t eating it. She told me I could have it. I told her it was for her - she guffawed. So, I gave her a bite of roast. She ate it but had no interest in anything more. She did take a bite of potato, and then another small bit of roast - then she was done. She drank her coffee and her juice, but no more solids.
So, Leddy and I discussed a liquid protein concoction that would get some protein into her body. We gave her some ensure to see if that might work, but Mom took small sips and said it was too sweet, and she didn’t like it. So, there goes that idea! We’re working on a couple of other options…
Mom’s clothes (especially her pants) have grown too large, now. So, I’m rifling through her clothes in the closet at my house to see what’s available.
I asked her how she was feeling, and she stated she felt “Strange”. The probing into this went nowhere - well, it went somewhere I wasn’t able to follow….
We had a good conversation, and we read the cards from Nadya. I also showed her the newsletter she sent out in 2000 for Xmas, which had a picture of her in the Swiss Alps from her excursion there with friend, Lou Ann Sorenson (another old friend who lived on the Olympic Peninsula, but they had known each other from our residing in Enterprise, OR in 1971). Connie had left that for me. What a change in 12 years!
I showed her the picture and she asked me where I was in the photo. I tried to help her memory but she just glared at me as though there was something wrong with me.
Another note - when I leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, she started. She seems much frailer and uncomfortable with anyone coming very close to her.
The next days will probably answer some questions - such as, “What’s Next?”
She may continue on this path for a little while longer, but as she refuses food, it’s unlikely it’s going to last too long.
Stay tuned for updates!
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