Descending a Bit Further...or The Week Ending 06/21/2015

Mom bathed this week!  Yes, she did!  Tuesday.  It had been about a week and a half since she last took a shower.  Her reasons to me were that she didn't approve of people telling her what to do;  and she didn't appreciate the thought of people waiting outside or peeking in to be sure she was doing what should be done in private.

So, how did they do it?  Aha!  I thought her weakness was ice cream.  BAH!  The very thought.  No, she was promised a glass of wine if she did.  And she did and it was a sensation.  I'm not completely sure why she hasn't taken one since, though....something to ponder, isn't it.

And Wednesday came as did Jean.  Jean was bolstered by the thought that Connie would receive a release from the doctor allowing her to venture to see Mom soon, so she whistled as she wound down the streets of Portland on her merry way.

I'm posting a portion (goodly) of her experiences that day (God forbid she kills me for doing this):

Got there at 2 pm to find Norma sitting in her chair, wearing a dark red sweater with some kind of short skirt below it. Shower garb?  Nightgown? She did not answer my question about that.  She had her stockings on and slippers.

I brought out of the closet a hanger holding white shorts and a gray skirt (thought it was slacks at first).

Reaction to the shorts: "I would wear those at the beach."

I told her it was nice and warm, not too warm, outside. "Why don't you take off that warm sweater and wear the nice white shirt and gray skirt outside?"

So--many random sentences later, Norma went into the bathroom and came back wearing the red sweater and gray skirt, carefully folding the white shirt and stuffing it into a dresser drawer. I told her that slippers were fine for outside.

We actually walked a bit in the garden, said Hello to Morena, who was sitting next to Barbara M, who was talking loudly about something. Mo complimented Norma on the gray skirt: "It looks very nice on you."

Another caregiver was sitting in a group with two residents.  Norma always discourages me from greeting or chatting with residents, so I do less than I would do on my own. The red roses are always good for our admiration, and we took the time to look closely at other flowers in the garden. During today's visit, Lucile is very much alive, so I use the present tense every time.

For the first time we entered the other cottage, saw only two ladies there, one a visitor.  A resident came to that table, and we heard someone being a bit rude to someone else, and  a few exchanges of pleasantries, as a caregiver stepped in to distract the rude one.

We sat for close to five minutes, and Herself said we could leave by that other door, and go outside.  As always, I tell her I do not know my way around that building. As she forged ahead along the short corridor to the lobby where we come into the building. I prayed no one left that door open.  Yes, it was locked. She suggested I might work the keypad, but I protested ignorance.  So we went back into the garden.My objective was to keep her walking as much as possible.

Did not see any of The Oregonian; I wonder what happens to it.Wednesday is a delivery day.

We walked the big "circle" around the kitchen in South Cottage.  A little lady came out of her room--Rosemary is her name--and seemed lonesome and confused.  She took my arm, which was fine, kissed Norma and said,"I love you," which went over well, you can imagine.  I was advised to shake her; the three of us walked to the big room, then Rosemary went to speak with someone at a table.  We got out of town.

I asked Josepha, who was in the kitchen, for paper cups to get a drink of water.  She offered orange juice, which was nectar to me then.  Norma took a sip, had more juice in her cup than she wanted, so poured some into my cup.  She is fast! I drank it.

I told Norma, as we strolled, that I had been trying to think of a word to describe a person who takes the place of an actor when the actor is sick. Right away: "Stand-in."  Some of those brain cells are just fine, thank you.  "Understudy" is the word I wanted, but she was correct, with  no hesitation.

When we returned to her room, she was looking for something, used words to tell me what she wanted, but none of it made sense.  She looked thru things in the cabinet behind the toilet. Never did find what it was, but I mentioned the two liquid soaps smelled good.  Back to her room.  She folded up the nightgown--never did agree that's what it was.  Into a dresser drawer it went.

I had seen a letter from Nadya on the dresser, so asked if she had a letter from Nadya recently.  Yes, she had. I handed her the letter, ready to make my getaway as she read.  Told her I would be back in a few minutes, and she asked, "Where are we going to eat tonight?"  I said I would let her know in a few minute when I got back.  "Don't take too long!"

There is a good picture of your mom sitting on the deck of your beach house.  We talked about the house, location, as I asked questions to keep on that subject.

One good laugh today:  A big smile and a chuckle when I entered the bathroom and asked Norma to "Hold my calls!"   It was a pleasant time; we chat like old friends about real and imagined times, people alive and passed on.  I  left at 4 pm.

Thank you, Jean.

Today, when I came in she was drinking a soda wearing a soiled blouse.  Well, not much I could do about that.  She saw no issues or dirt on the shirt, so I let it be.  

I told her we were leaving for Jean's, and she decided to wear a jacket despite my cautioning of 80-degree weather.  "You're full of prunes.  It's raining outside - Look!"  There was no rain, only slightly grey skies.  

"Fine.  You want to wear a jacket, then that's good.  I'll go out and get your meds.  When I return let's go."

"Okay," she replied.  

I got the meds, did a quick check-in with Ledi, and then came back.  She was seated in her recliner with the jacket on while sipping her soda.  "Okay.  Let's get going!  It's getting late and Jean is expecting us!"

"Hold on.  I need to find that ------"  the words were lost to me as they had been to Jean in her post.  I never did understand what she was looking for (later, someone told me to tell her it was in the car so she'd be quicker to leave -- Duh!).  Then, she decided the jacket wasn't going to be warm enough so she needed something heavier, such as her wool coat.  Ah Me!  

We finally were able to set off to our destination.  She was full of pep looking out the windows at everything we saw.  She kept trying to drive my attention to whatever she saw but alas I needed to pay attention to the road.  

We had a good lunch at Jean's.  Mom discussed how her grandmother didn't live with her grandfather, at the house a block away, as there were the wars and conflicts, she stated.  And, by the time she did arrive, there were just too many families living in the house for there to be room for her.   Goodness sakes!  The family history we'd never learned - because it didn't happen!  Good Golly! 

As we drove home, Mom was happy to espy Mount Hood.  This truly gave her joy.  She was also quite tired and wanted a nap, but this seemed to enervate her.  Then, she turned to me.

"Have you called your mother today?"

"I'm looking right at her.  Why would I phone you."

"You're acting like a fool!"  she was enraged. 

"Who do you think I am?"

"You know who you are.  Stop playing these stupid games with me."

"Sorry.  Yes, I did call her.  I'll stop by to see her later and I'll give her your greetings, as well."

"Where is she?"

"She's in a nice apartment she found."

"Why isn't she living with you?"

"She craves her independence."

"You're a selfish, rotten, no-good person.  You aren't nice to her at all."

"I'll be sure to remind her of that, as well.  Hey!  Look how clear Mount Hood is!"

And the conversation turned to happier thoughts.  

They were able to wash her clothes, but they discovered she had hidden most of her <ahem> private things, and they were very soiled.  They requested I buy another set or two, or three....

So, time marches on, despite her sinking into the LBD mire.  Her physical activity is much smoother, and she moves more quickly and adeptly.  However, there is a bit of the balance problem that is becoming a bit more pronounced.  But that will be  something to deal with in the future.