Tuesday, June 23, 2015

GPS and Mom

The other day I entered my car, opened my phone and tagged a new GPS program I figured would be an interesting one to try...perhaps it would be better than the one I currently use.  Ooops!  I should have been wary of the 5hours, 19-minute travel time for the 35 - 50-minute drive.  However, I figured it would readjust itself and all would be right with the world.   I tend to use this for the familiar drive to avoid accidents, slow roads, and to find the most efficient route so I could arrive in plenty of time, should she decide to dawdle.

Nope!  As I drove from my house it was already telling me to take side streets.  I did.  These streets led to the artery I could have made minutes earlier using my natural guidance system.  But, it seemed fine to see if there were any interesting routes I may not have known about.

Around and around I went.  The system took me through neighborhoods I hadn't seen since childhood.  While my inner routing system was nagging at me I continued to see where I would be taken.  More side streets and around areas that flung me further away from those arteries that would be more direct.  Finally, I looked at the clock - I had just spent 30 minutes driving and I wasn't anywhere closer to where I was going than I was when I'd begun.

I took measures into my own hands and the system went nuts.  It began telling me to turn onto streets we'd passed blocks before.  Over and over again it consistently directed me, once it tried to push me into a park where a dead end awaited, but I forged ahead, thinking I would beat this awful thing.

I soon found myself on a street on the other side of the river, where I believed I knew where I was.  I heard that nagging woman's voice, "Turn Right!" but it made no sense.  Something was wrong with the signs.  I felt a few pangs of panic as I was now quite late and I'd no idea where I was headed anymore.

At last I took a turn and found myself going in the correct direction, only a few minutes from Mom's place; but it felt wrong - something wasn't right.   And yet, I arrived, parked, and entered, feeling a bit frizzy and fried from my experience.

Then it dawned on me.  Was this experience similar to that of Mom's?  Was she going about life listening to her GPS and computer systems which nagged at her to do things that made sense, but then frazzled her so much she was lost despite herself?  

Watching and listening to Mom as we drove I noted how she had no clue where we were, most of the time, despite our having lived in some of the areas during my lifetime.  I had to point out some of the locations and she weakly stated she knew but it was obvious she didn't.

How quickly and easily we must forget that the dementia patient  begins to listen to such a system that guides with no apparent reason or rhyme.  They just go.  They know what is familiar but take away those elements and there is nothing but a world of chaos and confusion; they've no idea where to turn or what to do, so they begin to reason with a bad computer and GPS to find anything that  makes sense.

While I'm not going to use that application again, I'm glad I did.  It helped make sense of Mom's world for me.  And, while it didn't take me 5 hours plus to get there, it seemed providential that I had an epiphany to remind me of who I was dealing with and how she was affected.  

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