The following is a note sent to me of the visit by the RLC, yesterday, with Mom. I edited it a bit, and put into italics those things that will help put the reader at ease with more of a knowledge base..
Connie and I got to St. A's just after 1 pm. Norma was glad to see us.
We settled in, and saw Norma was reading mail from friends. I assumed they were Christmas notes; no, from March and October. She again showed me a note from Nancy Moore--"It's too bad she died. She was a good person, and wrote such interesting letters." We went back and forth a few times, insisting that Nancy is alive,. She did not back down; we just went on to other things. (Later, when we were "Scrabbling," Mike, the Cottage Director) brought her what was probably a Christmas message mailed to her. We did not see it. But she said it was from Marion--which one?- there is a cousin Marion, and a granddaughter, Marion)
I asked about her appointment with the doctor: "I thought you were going to the neurologist on Monday." No recall at all. End of subject.
Mom said that Tom, Ivan and Bob (Their late husbands) were going to get together this evening, and the ladies could do something else. As usual, we agreed that sounded nice.
And her grandma and some other older ladies were going to get together--again, that sounded like a nice thing to do.
I commented that I noticed she was wearing her stockings. She said she put them on, (did she?) and "Sometimes the ladies here want to put them on me," meaning the caregivers.
Norma was pleased to show us a little plastic crib scene she had painted. That was definitely a pleasant experience.
Scrabble was fun, with Mom winning. Connie usually keeps score, bless her heart. We did use the Scrabble dictionary to be sure of two things. Sox is okay. Vy is not; vying, okay, vie is present tense. I'm grateful for that little book.
Sometimes when we start to play, Norma asks how many tiles we use. Seven,of course. Later, she might have 9 or 10 tiles. "It's okay, you can use as many as fit on the board (little individual holders)." As we again differed on the score--counting, with me stating what the rules say, there is scorn for anyone who keeps to the rules. When she questioned the rules, I told her I had a typed list of rules, so she read the pertinent ones. But still whatever she wants to do is fine.I don't know if that is old habits or new confusion. No one gets loud; we just don't pursue it.
Norma is still good with making words,but not so quick with counting score.
Today there were several references to a living Tom; I kind of envy that. We never correct that kind of hallucination.
It seems that this morning Mike Manning came into her room with a lot of clothes she did not recognize. He set them on her bed; she would not let him put them in her dresser (don't know if he was going to). About 2pm someone came in with food, and she did not need any. (No idea there; we did not ask the caregivers.)
As Connie and I donned our coats--after 3:30--Norma put on her jacket. Connie and I reminded her that we are not relatives, and cannot take her out of the building. She said I could tell them I'm a sister-in-law, but I told her that would be a lie. She looked serious, so I hustled out, after a quick kiss on her cheek; Connie did the same, and we walked fast after catching Sergio's (a caregiver) attention, and asked him to help if Norma insisted on going with us. He just smiled. I thought I heard Norma's voice, but it was not loud. Don't know if she actually started after us or not.
Since the hallucinations are real, Norma does not appear upset or confused. Today was a bit more than other times.
I asked Jean if I could use this as illustration of what others see with Mom. As Connie and Jean see her regularly, and have known Mother for more years than I have lived, they can surely see the differences.
I truly appreciate their help and time with Mom. It really does make so much of a difference!
Thank you, Ladies.
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