Gift Giving for Dementia Patients During the Holidays

Christmas Time is one where people feel more generous, typically.    This can make it somewhat difficult in determining what to buy their loved one as a gift.  It needs to be useful; it needs to be nice and pleasant; it needs to be safe.





Trying to create a list for Mom during this time is slightly stressful.  What could she use?  Probably some new attire.  But, what size?  color?  what would/could she use?  Would she remember it as being hers? or would she think it was misplaced in her drawers or closet, and then try to give it away?

Looking back over the past year, and the attempts made to give Mom gifts, reveals these challenges.  Last year I bought her towels to trade out with the ones she already had.  She'd forgotten they were there, and had stuffed them in a cupboard.  I took them out and she rejoiced in having something new.  Despite the number of months between December and July, the gift was good (whew!).

She also received a small stereo that played cd's.  She still hasn't a clue how it works, although five years ago she would have used it a great deal (her own stereo at home had a 5 disc carousel that she changed out on a regular basis, and knew how it worked with no issues).  So, the only time she has music is when someone else puts some on and hits 'play'.  It's still a good gift, because it is useful, and brings her enjoyment when she does use it.

She was given a blanket, last year, but it's not been unwrapped from it's new condition.  It remains in a cupboard, and she demands it not be touched.  Books aren't really a choice, either, unless she really wants them.

And, Mom doesn't take baths, as it means someone needs to be present in case she isn't able to get up and out.  She hates that she's being watched!  So, bath stuff is kaput! as an idea.  And, she's never really donned perfume or cologne, and has allergies to most skin care (except stuff with Dead Sea Salts - hint hint hint).

Going through the pamphlet on Holiday Tips for the Caregiver from the Alzheimer's Association, I found some ideas that make sense, and others that made me recoil.  A hot pot?  I think not.  Coffee pot?  ditto.

But, here are some ideas that make great sense for Mom, and, perhaps, others in her situation:

Bird Feeder and bird seed- for outside her window.

This would allow her to gaze outside and enjoy the feathered beasts.

Music - Even though it doesn't seem as though she experiences it often, it may be more than we realize, as we're not with her 24/7.  And this would please her.






Stationary and Envelopes, with an address book that has everyone's information - in case she wants to make the attempt.

Gift Cards -
for Macy's, Nordstrom's, or any store in her area for her to go out and pick clothes and try them on...Just for the experience.









Photo Albums - of pictures from her past with friends, and family.









A Calendar for her wall - something she can utilize to tell the day/date.  Although it may not work, she'll like the pictures, hopefully.








Candy, Cookies, Cakes - Mom loves all holiday candies.

I'm going to be baking for her and putting things in tubs, doling them out to her in small doses - otherwise they'll vanish in a flash!


Flowers.  Mom loves flowers.







Books - This is tricky, as Mom doesn't recall what she's read, so it makes this something of an ordeal.

 She also needs to have interest or purpose with the reading.  And, here,  a gift card to B&N, Powell's, or Amazon simply won't work... Drat (this used to be the easy one).





To be honest, Mom's recollection of the day will not last, nor will her memory of who gave her what.  Yet, I want to believe that something inside of her (be it an alien working some out-of-whack controls as in Men In Black) is aware that she was remembered and given something.  I also know her history of acknowledgements is shaky, but at least it's something we've thought about and shown we still care.