The Holidays have arrived! It's official. It's Black Friday and all the little elves are busily shopping to their heart's content!
But What About Mom and the Other Dementia Patients? What Do The Holidays Mean For Them?
Going by past experience (the past 3-4 years) and what Mom has done/not done, and her awareness of the holidays, this one feels a tad hollow; not that there is nothing there, but there is a tug that demands attention for something that may not exist - at least not completely.
The first year she was confused about being in her own home, and couldn't wrap the gifts.
The second year she never went shopping for gifts despite many opportunities, stating she'd rather go the following day (and so it went each day).
The next year she was in Memory Care, and it just seemed to bypass her thoughts and awareness. She did like the gifts she received, but wasn't aware of the absence of hers to anyone, which was becoming the norm, but in the past this would have been quite odd.
Her receipt of gifts was a little confused, and she knew she had things, but lost the tracking of what they were for, from, and to actually use them. So, for all intents and purposes the list this year will be on things that will affect her daily life without her actually realizing they had been given (towels, bathmats, something along those lines).
With celebrations this is now a different story. She used to enjoy a bit of a crowd - in her younger years. Today when there are more than 5-6 and several conversations going on she has a bit of a panic. She's not tracking one from the other, and becomes confused. This scares her and tires her out. It also makes her feel left out. She appreciates the company, food, drink, and attention - but if it seems, to her, to wane, then she's done.
Later, she will not remember much of it, but the event will have brightened her a bit for a few days.
It's interesting to note that even in July she was thinking about how it was nearly Christmas and she needed to get some shopping done; this thought vanished in moments, though.
I suppose the note of this is that the spirit of the holidays is present with us, and how we involve Mom, as do others, is important, but the take-away is more for our spirit. She loves the season, but is growing less aware, but the twinkle in her eyes when she does realize makes the magic of the season.
But What About Mom and the Other Dementia Patients? What Do The Holidays Mean For Them?
Going by past experience (the past 3-4 years) and what Mom has done/not done, and her awareness of the holidays, this one feels a tad hollow; not that there is nothing there, but there is a tug that demands attention for something that may not exist - at least not completely.
The first year she was confused about being in her own home, and couldn't wrap the gifts.
The second year she never went shopping for gifts despite many opportunities, stating she'd rather go the following day (and so it went each day).
The next year she was in Memory Care, and it just seemed to bypass her thoughts and awareness. She did like the gifts she received, but wasn't aware of the absence of hers to anyone, which was becoming the norm, but in the past this would have been quite odd.
Her receipt of gifts was a little confused, and she knew she had things, but lost the tracking of what they were for, from, and to actually use them. So, for all intents and purposes the list this year will be on things that will affect her daily life without her actually realizing they had been given (towels, bathmats, something along those lines).
With celebrations this is now a different story. She used to enjoy a bit of a crowd - in her younger years. Today when there are more than 5-6 and several conversations going on she has a bit of a panic. She's not tracking one from the other, and becomes confused. This scares her and tires her out. It also makes her feel left out. She appreciates the company, food, drink, and attention - but if it seems, to her, to wane, then she's done.
Later, she will not remember much of it, but the event will have brightened her a bit for a few days.
It's interesting to note that even in July she was thinking about how it was nearly Christmas and she needed to get some shopping done; this thought vanished in moments, though.
I suppose the note of this is that the spirit of the holidays is present with us, and how we involve Mom, as do others, is important, but the take-away is more for our spirit. She loves the season, but is growing less aware, but the twinkle in her eyes when she does realize makes the magic of the season.
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